Monday, June 11, 2012

The Dynamic of my Fatass and Spectator Sports

Euro is here, again! ain't time flying fast, it's June already! There've been plenty of goings since I last posted anything here. But my life has been nothing but topsy-turvy, I don't feel like doing a write-up about it. Life's a bitch sometimes, deal with it.

So, back to Euro 2012. Who am I rooting for this year? I'm not really sure actually. But since I'd been supporting France since World Cup 1998, I felt compelled to stick to France. Some people told me they (the French team) will suck big team. Don't really give a slightest fuck about it.

 If France fail, I'll go with Spain.

 If Spain fail, I'll go with England.

If England fail, I'll go with Netherlands.

If Netherlands fail, I'll go with the team with the most good looking players.

You see, I'm a fan of spectator sports. Which means, sports for me are to be enjoyed on your couch, in front of your tv, maybe with some peanuts or Mamee Monster Noodle Snack and some ice cold Coca Cola. (But since now I'm a bit cautious about my sugar intake, have to go 'light' with the Coke..huhu). Some company will be good, but if the company is just a bunch of people who don't even understand the concept of off-side, then I rather watch the match alone.

I am no football fanatics. I do not watch football religiously. But a good game of football will keep me engaged. Oh, and I play no football too.Not even futsal. My fatass wont let me play, it rather sits and watch and add a few kilograms more. I am also looking forward for the olympics. Olympics are fun to watch. I learn my sports by watching the olympics, way back to as early as I could remember. When I was in primary school, one of the many things that I like the most about Olympics on tv, are the chance to know the flags for each participating country. I would keep a book, with drawings of every flags that appeared on the tv screen. Then, I would also observe the athletes movement and later try to put them in drawings. I would draw people running, jumping, kicking each others face, etc..etc.

 Perhaps, I've already had a pretty screwed-up concept of sports since my early age. When other kids were all excited to play the games for real, I was sufficed to only watching and put the images on paper. Which explains a lot on why I am no good at playing any sort of sports throughout my school years. And my fatass has been a good help for me to keep that reputation up until now :)

So, lets enjoy our month-long of good European football, keep our couch warm and our Coke cold! Cheers!

Friday, February 10, 2012

And So I Sang..

It's been a while since I last posted any of my 'syok-sendiri' jamming session :P
Suddenly tonight, di kala malam Jumaat bulan mengambang ini, I felt like singing.
So I sang.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Kerajaanku dan Duit 500 Ringgit

Kerajaan suka buat kita jadi macam peminta sedekah.
Baru mau bagi RM 500, dia suruh kita semua berasak-asak isi borang.
Berbaris jam-jam. Tiada option pn boleh isi borang bantuan tu secara online.
Imagine how many trees we could've save kalo sistem pengagihan BR1M tu dibuat secara paperless..

Kesimpulan aku, benda tu terpaksa dibuat cara old school sebab semuanya dibuat gesa-gesa.
Mana sempat buat sistem, database segala.. pilihan raya sudah dekat.

Satu isi rumah dapat RM 500. One off, ok. Bukan tahun-tahun dapat. Tapi cerita kemurahan hati kerajaan tiap-tiap malam kluar news jam 8.


Sekarang bila sudah sampai time mau check status permohonan, kena suruh pulak lagi call no hotline yang haram ndak dapat through! No such thing as Semakan Online.

Kalau gagal, sila merayu kerajaan bilang.
See, mengemis lagi. Sedang menelefon no hotline dari 9am - 5pm tu pun sama juga feelnya macam mengemis.

Jangan salah faham. Aku bukan anti kerajaan. Langsung tidak. Aku malah bersyukur apa yang aku dapat selama ini.
Cuma aku benci bila kerajaanku mahu aku sentiasa mengemis. Kerajaanku mahu aku sentiasa meminta-minta yang sepatutnya hak aku dapatkan.

Aku sentiasa terbayang-bayang wajah kerajaanku ketawa terbahak sedang aku menadah tangan.
Tapi, jangan salah faham. Aku bukan anti kerajaan.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Go Ahead, Die!

Hello, world! How's 2011 so far?
Yes, I'm still here. Not dead, not yet, although there're times where I really, really felt like dying, like yesterday from 8.00 am to 5.30 pm - approximately 8 and a half painful hours of having to stick to a job that drives me nut, makes my fatass fatter, gives me unwanted breakouts, messes with my menstrual cycle, shoots my blood pressure off the roof.. in a simpler words: this lousy job that I'm currently doing just may have been my most probable C.O.D (it stands for Cause Of Death, in case you never watched CSI, or you did watch but your low level of intelligent has prohibit you from digesting all the forensic acronym used in those series)

Ok, enough about you being stupid. This blog entry is about me. Yes, in case you hadn't notice this blog is all about me, me and me.

At first, I was thinking about writing an entry with regards to all those mistreated cats by the two bangsats of Petknodes, but then as I was struggling to find my words to describe those poor kitties, I noticed that I make a much, much miserable subject to write about.

I've just turned 33 last August.
I've successfully managed to jump from one suckey job after another.
I don't have kids, not married, no boyfriend in sight.
I believed that my online profile only manage to attract middle-eastern and african guys who are looking for single-desperate lady to con and drug mule.
I have yet to own a house.
I have thousands of unpaid study loan which has caused my constant lack of sleep just by thinking about it.

If I have RM 100,000 right now, I'll quit my job, paid off my loans then stay at home and play with my cats for six months. That's the happiness that I'm dying to buy.

But since the RM 100k won't miraculously appeared beneath my pillow when I wake up in the morning, I better stop and sleep now, because obviously I have that lousy job to attend to tomorrow.
Good bye for now. Will write you more craps real soon.

p/s: the tittle of this post has no direct connection to its content. Those are merely words that popped up inside my head once I started typing. So, go ahead, die! (if you want to)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Achtung! Weddings ahead!

Eversince weekends being reinstated in my life since last November..Yup, the best perks of this new job of mine is the weekends off..yippee! I know it's not much of an advantage for most people, but trust me if you had been weekend-deprived for over four years, getting the weekends back is super duper orgasmic seperti memakan jaruk bambangan! (methaporic description courtesy of my good friend Madam Z haha..)

Ok, back to the topic, eversince being entirely available for the weekends, I found myself tied to the obligation of attending weddings. Ever so often, the relatives' wedding. From cousins, to second cousins, to distance relatives I hardly known.. You see, is not that I HATE weddings, hate is such a strong word to describe my uneasiness towards going to rumah orang kahwin. It's just that attending (distance) relatives weddings felt so damn awkward!

That doesn't make me socially impaired, right? or is it?

There should be like a written guideline on what one should do in a Malay wedding ceremony. Maybe look a little like this:

Step 1: Smile, greet the penyambut-penyambut tetamu, salam cium tangan if they look old enough. If you're not sure of their age just salam as usual, salam cium tangan may came across as insulting.

Step 2: If you carry a present hand it over to the penyambut tetamu. If you intend to give money seal in an envelope, wait until you're about to leave the occasion then only you look for the pengantin's parents, and hand it over to them discreetly while you salam their hand to bid farewell. If you do not intend to give anything, just be a good entourage and always stand closely by your pack.

Step 3: Head to the buffet then sit and eat. Sitting arrangement in a Malay weddings are normaly segregated by gender. So pick your sit accordingly. While eating some of the guest, usually the elderly one will ask you questions like: "Anak siapa?", "Kau adik si anu bin si anu ka?", "Kau kah yang kawin hari tu?", "Sudah kawin ka?", "Kau kerja di mana?". To avoid further annoyance, answer as simple as possible, keep your focus on the food.

Step 4: Finish eating, then you have to move inside the house. While inside the house do the followings:
a) show your admiration of the pelamin, regardless of how awfully ugly it looks like.

b)next, go to the bride's room, and again show admiration on the room's deco and the bride's dress and make up. You see, this part is the one I find the most awkward since you don't even know the bride that well. So, if you feel that by getting inside the bride's room will only magnified your social retardation, then by all means, please skip this step. (only applicable if you're attending the ceremony of the bride's side)

c)Find your sittings area. On the floor that is. I advice you to pick the area where you can lean on the wall or tiang or anything. Sakit juga belakang tu ging kalau duduk bersila lama-lama!

Step 5: The tuan rumah will then serve you hot drinks and kuih-muih. If you're in that ceremony together with your mom or aunties, another aunties will sat closer and chit-chatting with your momm and aunties. Sit still and eat your kuih. Chances are those aunties will ask question about you through your mom, and you just have to smile as an agreement to your mom's answer. But if you feel that your mom answers is slowly getting overboard, feel free to interfere.

Step 6: You have two options; either to stay until majlis bersanding, or after like 20 minutes or so you can leave the majlis by saying your excuse out loud. Like; "balik lah kami dulu mau pigi kawin di Tuaran lagi ni" , "baliklah kami dulu tiada orang di rumah (seriously???)", "baliklah kami dulu mau hantar si anu bin si anu pegi airport"
WHY? can't we just leave because we want to leave??

Let me make myself clear, I am not at all anti-weddings. I am just against the awkwardness of being in a wedding. Weddings are suppose to be joyous! It's an entirely different stories if they're the weddings of your friend or relative that are close to your heart. Only then can you share the happiness.

Like these pictures taken last October at my friend, Madam I's wedding. See how glee-ful we are? And you don't have to fake your admiration on how beautiful the pelamin was and the bride was super-lovely!

Looking forward for another joyous wedding celebration this March. And this time we're heading to Kuching! Yippee!

Monday, February 7, 2011

The Temptation of Logic

Who am I kidding?

I have no business being here. I'm a natural born slacker. Tried to conform, failed miserably. Tried to play by the book, again, failed miserably. So the big, ultimate question is :


I developed a strong liking for SUDOKU around September, October of last year.
I can now conclude that my sudden gravitation towards logic had somehow affected my creative side of the brain.

I've neglected my gitar kapok.

My writings went slower and slower and slower..still plenty of thoughts inside my head, but couldn't seem to find the words to put them down in ink.

I hardly paint, sketch, draw

I'm losing myself slowly.
And I'm blaming SUDOKU for that. See, how pathetic my life is.

My words are terrible. I should stop. Got to go, got to screw my brain even more with my Sudoku.

Till then, may my logic keep me sane.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Berlari dengan Pelita mencari Cinta Sempurna

AJL weekend. Yeaayy! How's my post title? tacky enough? huhuhu..walaupun kecewa sebab ada a few lagu yang aku suka ndak masuk final. Anyway, in support for the local music, saya tetap excited untuk menonton AJL saban tahun.
So, here's the lyrics to the songs that gonna win:

Aku manusia lemah
Selalu terjatuh
Berbeda aku darimu
Kau berdiri teguh
Aku serba tiada
Aku kekurangan
Dan bila kau tiba aku hilang dari kewujudan

Sempurnanya sifatmu
Telusnya hatimu
Jujurnya niatmu
Tingginya kesbrnmu
Lepaskanlah diriku
Kerna aku
tak mampu tuk memnaggung sebuah cinta sempurna
Darimu ohhh
Darimu ohhhh

Bukan aku tak pernah
Mengerti dirmu
ku sanjung setiap kata cinta kau berikan aku
Hilangkan rasa itu
Akhirkankan semua
Dan bila kau sedar
Aku hilang dari kewujudan

Sempurnanya sifatmu
Telusnya hatimu
Jujurnya niatmu
Tingginya kesbrnmu
Lepaskanlah diriku
Kerna aku
Tak mampu tuk menanggung sebuah cinta sempurna darimu
Darimu ohhh
Darimu ohhhh

* * *

and I root for this song also:

Tak pernah sesaat daku meragui
Apa yang telah daku temui selama ini
Tak pernah sesaat daku menyesali
Apa yang telah aku nikmati
Apa ku alami
Selagi hayat dikandung badan

Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Kan ku pancarkan cahaya seperti pelita
Ke serata dunia yang gelap gelita
Sehingga hembusan nafas yang terakhir

Tak pernah sesaat aku mencurigai
Apa yang telah aku kecapi setakat ini
Tiba saatnya kan ku tangisi
Pada yang pergi takkan kembali
Kembali lagi
Selagi hayat dikandung badan

Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Kan ku pancarkan cahaya seperti pelita
Ke serata dunia yang gelap gelita
Sehingga hembusan nafas yang terakhir

Selagi jasadku belum terkubur
Selagi tubuhku belum ditimpa uzur
Pantang datuk nenek moyangku berundur

Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Akan ku pancar cahaya seperti pelita ke seluruh dunia
Akan ku pancar cahaya seperti pelita ke serata dunia
Seperti cahaya

* * *

Sorry lah Faizal Tahir, as much as I like you, I don't feel like supporting you this year. I rather see Tomok wins.

and Anna Rafali can sing to my ass.