Half-Awake-Half-Asleep

And So I Sang..

2012-02-10T01:20:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since I last posted any of my 'syok-sendiri' jamming session :P
Suddenly tonight, di kala malam Jumaat bulan mengambang ini, I felt like singing.
So I sang.

Kerajaanku dan Duit 500 Ringgit

2012-01-30T18:09:00.004+08:00

Kerajaan suka buat kita jadi macam peminta sedekah.
Baru mau bagi RM 500, dia suruh kita semua berasak-asak isi borang.
Berbaris jam-jam. Tiada option pn boleh isi borang bantuan tu secara online.
Imagine how many trees we could've save kalo sistem pengagihan BR1M tu dibuat secara paperless..

Kesimpulan aku, benda tu terpaksa dibuat cara old school sebab semuanya dibuat gesa-gesa.
Mana sempat buat sistem, database segala.. pilihan raya sudah dekat.

Satu isi rumah dapat RM 500. One off, ok. Bukan tahun-tahun dapat. Tapi cerita kemurahan hati kerajaan tiap-tiap malam kluar news jam 8.

SEDIH.

Sekarang bila sudah sampai time mau check status permohonan, kena suruh pulak lagi call no hotline yang haram ndak dapat through! No such thing as Semakan Online.

Kalau gagal, sila merayu kerajaan bilang.
See, mengemis lagi. Sedang menelefon no hotline dari 9am - 5pm tu pun sama juga feelnya macam mengemis.

Jangan salah faham. Aku bukan anti kerajaan. Langsung tidak. Aku malah bersyukur apa yang aku dapat selama ini.
Cuma aku benci bila kerajaanku mahu aku sentiasa mengemis. Kerajaanku mahu aku sentiasa meminta-minta yang sepatutnya hak aku dapatkan.

Aku sentiasa terbayang-bayang wajah kerajaanku ketawa terbahak sedang aku menadah tangan.
Tapi, jangan salah faham. Aku bukan anti kerajaan.

Go Ahead, Die!

2011-09-07T01:21:00.005+08:00

Hello, world! How's 2011 so far?
Yes, I'm still here. Not dead, not yet, although there're times where I really, really felt like dying, like yesterday from 8.00 am to 5.30 pm - approximately 8 and a half painful hours of having to stick to a job that drives me nut, makes my fatass fatter, gives me unwanted breakouts, messes with my menstrual cycle, shoots my blood pressure off the roof.. in a simpler words: this lousy job that I'm currently doing just may have been my most probable C.O.D (it stands for Cause Of Death, in case you never watched CSI, or you did watch but your low level of intelligent has prohibit you from digesting all the forensic acronym used in those series)

Ok, enough about you being stupid. This blog entry is about me. Yes, in case you hadn't notice this blog is all about me, me and me.

At first, I was thinking about writing an entry with regards to all those mistreated cats by the two bangsats of Petknodes, but then as I was struggling to find my words to describe those poor kitties, I noticed that I make a much, much miserable subject to write about.

I've just turned 33 last August.
I've successfully managed to jump from one suckey job after another.
I don't have kids, not married, no boyfriend in sight.
I believed that my online profile only manage to attract middle-eastern and african guys who are looking for single-desperate lady to con and drug mule.
I have yet to own a house.
I have thousands of unpaid study loan which has caused my constant lack of sleep just by thinking about it.

If I have RM 100,000 right now, I'll quit my job, paid off my loans then stay at home and play with my cats for six months. That's the happiness that I'm dying to buy.

But since the RM 100k won't miraculously appeared beneath my pillow when I wake up in the morning, I better stop and sleep now, because obviously I have that lousy job to attend to tomorrow.
Good bye for now. Will write you more craps real soon.

p/s: the tittle of this post has no direct connection to its content. Those are merely words that popped up inside my head once I started typing. So, go ahead, die! (if you want to)

Achtung! Weddings ahead!

2011-02-23T17:46:00.000+08:00

Eversince weekends being reinstated in my life since last November..Yup, the best perks of this new job of mine is the weekends off..yippee! I know it's not much of an advantage for most people, but trust me if you had been weekend-deprived for over four years, getting the weekends back is super duper orgasmic seperti memakan jaruk bambangan! (methaporic description courtesy of my good friend Madam Z haha..)

Ok, back to the topic, eversince being entirely available for the weekends, I found myself tied to the obligation of attending weddings. Ever so often, the relatives' wedding. From cousins, to second cousins, to distance relatives I hardly known.. You see, is not that I HATE weddings, hate is such a strong word to describe my uneasiness towards going to rumah orang kahwin. It's just that attending (distance) relatives weddings felt so damn awkward!

That doesn't make me socially impaired, right? or is it?

There should be like a written guideline on what one should do in a Malay wedding ceremony. Maybe look a little like this:

Step 1: Smile, greet the penyambut-penyambut tetamu, salam cium tangan if they look old enough. If you're not sure of their age just salam as usual, salam cium tangan may came across as insulting.

Step 2: If you carry a present hand it over to the penyambut tetamu. If you intend to give money seal in an envelope, wait until you're about to leave the occasion then only you look for the pengantin's parents, and hand it over to them discreetly while you salam their hand to bid farewell. If you do not intend to give anything, just be a good entourage and always stand closely by your pack.

Step 3: Head to the buffet then sit and eat. Sitting arrangement in a Malay weddings are normaly segregated by gender. So pick your sit accordingly. While eating some of the guest, usually the elderly one will ask you questions like: "Anak siapa?", "Kau adik si anu bin si anu ka?", "Kau kah yang kawin hari tu?", "Sudah kawin ka?", "Kau kerja di mana?". To avoid further annoyance, answer as simple as possible, keep your focus on the food.

Step 4: Finish eating, then you have to move inside the house. While inside the house do the followings:
a) show your admiration of the pelamin, regardless of how awfully ugly it looks like.

b)next, go to the bride's room, and again show admiration on the room's deco and the bride's dress and make up. You see, this part is the one I find the most awkward since you don't even know the bride that well. So, if you feel that by getting inside the bride's room will only magnified your social retardation, then by all means, please skip this step. (only applicable if you're attending the ceremony of the bride's side)

c)Find your sittings area. On the floor that is. I advice you to pick the area where you can lean on the wall or tiang or anything. Sakit juga belakang tu ging kalau duduk bersila lama-lama!

Step 5: The tuan rumah will then serve you hot drinks and kuih-muih. If you're in that ceremony together with your mom or aunties, another aunties will sat closer and chit-chatting with your momm and aunties. Sit still and eat your kuih. Chances are those aunties will ask question about you through your mom, and you just have to smile as an agreement to your mom's answer. But if you feel that your mom answers is slowly getting overboard, feel free to interfere.

Step 6: You have two options; either to stay until majlis bersanding, or after like 20 minutes or so you can leave the majlis by saying your excuse out loud. Like; "balik lah kami dulu mau pigi kawin di Tuaran lagi ni" , "baliklah kami dulu tiada orang di rumah (seriously???)", "baliklah kami dulu mau hantar si anu bin si anu pegi airport"
WHY? can't we just leave because we want to leave??

Let me make myself clear, I am not at all anti-weddings. I am just against the awkwardness of being in a wedding. Weddings are suppose to be joyous! It's an entirely different stories if they're the weddings of your friend or relative that are close to your heart. Only then can you share the happiness.

Like these pictures taken last October at my friend, Madam I's wedding. See how glee-ful we are? And you don't have to fake your admiration on how beautiful the pelamin was and the bride was super-lovely!

Looking forward for another joyous wedding celebration this March. And this time we're heading to Kuching! Yippee!

The Temptation of Logic

2011-02-07T15:46:00.003+08:00

Who am I kidding?

I have no business being here. I'm a natural born slacker. Tried to conform, failed miserably. Tried to play by the book, again, failed miserably. So the big, ultimate question is :

"WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE???!!"

I developed a strong liking for SUDOKU around September, October of last year.
I can now conclude that my sudden gravitation towards logic had somehow affected my creative side of the brain.

I've neglected my gitar kapok.

My writings went slower and slower and slower..still plenty of thoughts inside my head, but couldn't seem to find the words to put them down in ink.

I hardly paint, sketch, draw

I'm losing myself slowly.
And I'm blaming SUDOKU for that. See, how pathetic my life is.

My words are terrible. I should stop. Got to go, got to screw my brain even more with my Sudoku.

Till then, may my logic keep me sane.

Berlari dengan Pelita mencari Cinta Sempurna

2011-01-07T17:55:00.003+08:00

AJL weekend. Yeaayy! How's my post title? tacky enough? huhuhu..walaupun kecewa sebab ada a few lagu yang aku suka ndak masuk final. Anyway, in support for the local music, saya tetap excited untuk menonton AJL saban tahun.
So, here's the lyrics to the songs that gonna win:

Aku manusia lemah
Selalu terjatuh
Berbeda aku darimu
Kau berdiri teguh
Aku serba tiada
Aku kekurangan
Dan bila kau tiba aku hilang dari kewujudan

Sempurnanya sifatmu
Telusnya hatimu
Jujurnya niatmu
Tingginya kesbrnmu
Lepaskanlah diriku
Kerna aku
tak mampu tuk memnaggung sebuah cinta sempurna
Darimu
Darimu ohhh
Darimu ohhhh

Bukan aku tak pernah
Mengerti dirmu
ku sanjung setiap kata cinta kau berikan aku
Hilangkan rasa itu
Akhirkankan semua
Dan bila kau sedar
Aku hilang dari kewujudan
Ohhh

Sempurnanya sifatmu
Telusnya hatimu
Jujurnya niatmu
Tingginya kesbrnmu
Lepaskanlah diriku
Kerna aku
Tak mampu tuk menanggung sebuah cinta sempurna darimu
Darimu ohhh
Darimu ohhhh

* * *

and I root for this song also:

Tak pernah sesaat daku meragui
Apa yang telah daku temui selama ini
Tak pernah sesaat daku menyesali
Apa yang telah aku nikmati
Apa ku alami
Selagi hayat dikandung badan

Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Kan ku pancarkan cahaya seperti pelita
Ke serata dunia yang gelap gelita
Sehingga hembusan nafas yang terakhir

Tak pernah sesaat aku mencurigai
Apa yang telah aku kecapi setakat ini
Tiba saatnya kan ku tangisi
Pada yang pergi takkan kembali
Kembali lagi
Selagi hayat dikandung badan

Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Kan ku pancarkan cahaya seperti pelita
Ke serata dunia yang gelap gelita
Sehingga hembusan nafas yang terakhir

Selagi jasadku belum terkubur
Selagi tubuhku belum ditimpa uzur
Pantang datuk nenek moyangku berundur

Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Akan ku pancar cahaya seperti pelita ke seluruh dunia
Akan ku pancar cahaya seperti pelita ke serata dunia
Seperti cahaya

* * *

Sorry lah Faizal Tahir, as much as I like you, I don't feel like supporting you this year. I rather see Tomok wins.

and Anna Rafali can sing to my ass.

Got Balls?

2010-12-30T13:00:00.005+08:00

2 days left to 2011. Thanks to the awesome, awesome, super awesome 'Harimau Muda' squad, today is gonna be the last working day in 2010. Yippeee!!!

and talking about 'Harimau Muda', it feels nice to be able to get all excited about Malaysia's football scene all over again after such a long time of being idle on the I-don't-give-a-fuck mode. Yes, I have to confess that I had turn my back on Malaysian football for about a decade now. The last time I went to watch soccer match between Sabah and..(forgot already!) was somewhere in 2000 or 2001. I have no rights to give commentaries on the quality of Malaysian football, I don't have the just capacity to say which player sucks and which doesn't.
But still, today, I'm in the mood of talking football.

Waaaaaay back in my highschool years, there were only two football teams that I honestly was rooting for :

Number 1, is of course, Sabah, the rhinos.
Second, was my school's football team.

Between the year 1990-1994, all other football team ceased to matter.

1991, when I was in form 1, I had Matlan Marjan picture from a newspaper cut out pasted on my desk. There's also a small picture of him glued on the cover of my buku conteng-conteng , the one that was cut out from the team picture of when Malaysia had a friendly match with England and Matlan Marjan scored 2 goals and if my memories served me right, Malaysia lost the game, 4-2.

David Beckham only came into the picture in 1995.

Also back in the early 90's, football was also a big thing in school. I mean, most of the popular, so-called-good-looking school jocks were in the soccer team. Most of the popular, pretty girls in school's boyfriend will either be in soccer or cricket or basketball team. The not so popular and the really not pretty girls, like me, would only sat by the field and cheered along, in total support of the team. The whole school took the cheering and supporting seriously. Our Pengetua is our head cheers captain, and sometimes if we're lucky, the pretty boys played awesomely and our pengetua will declared the following day as Cuti Peristiwa.

Then one day, back in 1991, I remembered walking up the stairs from the football field with this one particular person, just after watching a football match. We're both in form 1, we're in the same Rumah Sukan, but we went to different classes. Easy to say, I hardly known her!
And so being a friendly person, I chit-chat with her along the way. She kept talking about all the good looking guys, seniors in the football team. She mentioned some names and told me that those fellas were kind of her 'abang-abang angkat'. Again, as a gesture of being friendly, I showed interest and might have gave her the impression that I might also want to dip into the handsome-abang-angkat scene.

And so, she handed me a small bottle. Kinda look like a 'minyak kapak' bottle, but with somewhat a yellowish looking ointment in it. Plus, dip inside the liquid was a scroll of a small piece of paper. She told me (not in the exact words) ;

"ni minyak kau simpan saja, supaya kau sentiasa ja nampak cantik di mata orang, supaya orang suka kau. Ambil la, aku ada lagi yang lain"

Yikes! at the age of 13, someone offered me a bottle of Minyak Senyonyong!!

I never took the bottle. The girl with the 'good intention' moved to another school after just a few months. I never had abang angkat from the football team.

So, I can say, based on my observation and personal experiences, there are a distinct co-relations between football, good looking boys and young girls with raging hormones

i) The genes that responsible for the agility and talent for football are also the genes for good look (in most cases)
ii)Young girls with raging hormones got extra hormones boost just by looking at pretty boys on the football field
iii) Young girls with raging hormones sometimes mistakenly interpreted the fact that they're only drooling over boys on football field as being interested on the game itself
iv) Just to get their hands on the pretty boys on the football field, young girls with raging hormones would do anything, even to the extend of something really stupid like minyak senyonyong!

And I think, after the awesome performance from the 'Harimau Muda' last night, this guy could be one of the most sought-after bachelor amongst young girls and aktres-aktres drama melayu yang sedang meningkat naik :

This picture here was grab from awek Fahmi's blog (got linked on the pic) :) So, for any young girls and not so young girls with raging hormones who somehow find their way here and landed on my blog, yes, this fella got awek already. But please, continue with the drooling. And take notes, penggunaan minyak senyonyong adalah kurafat dan haram di sisi agama.

Sekian. Happy holidays, happy new year, have great parties, all the best for 2011!

Again, congrats and thanks so much, Harimau Muda!

Now I know my ABC, why don't you go to hell and stay there and stop corrupting little kid's heads!!

2010-11-13T13:34:00.008+08:00

Recently, at the hyper-store where I used to work, I came across the most ridiculous ABC book ever. Seriously, the content is absolute BULLSHIT! I think Kementerian Pendidikan or any PIBG from any schools in Malaysia should protest and ask for the book to be withdrawn immediately from the market.

Ok, altogether now, lets start with the letter A :

ABIU? I was on page one and already I said, WTF?? well, ok, so maybe there is this kampung-kampung fruit called abiu. Maybe because my kampung is not kampung enough so I never set my eyes on this abiu thing. Ok, forgivable, lets move on.

Then, the ABC book strikes me with a combo : here come G and H :

Now tell me, as a once 4,5,6 year old kids living in Malaysia, how common are these berries to you? Did your mom grew these dekat belakang rumah? And for God's sake, this book is made for little kids, why the fuck would you want them to immediately know how to spell hybridberry? (and FYI, hybridberry got the red line when you type it on MS Word, because obviously the fucking word doesn't EXIST!)

I don't have kids, but this ABC book sure pissed me off big time.

Ok, next page. Let see what we have on the letter K :

Oh my God..speechless. Daripada kau letak Kumquat di sana bagus lagi kau taruk K for Kepala Otak Ko Berjambul. And again, WTF is Kumquat??? am I that ignorant? that I knew very little of the common fruits in Malaysia?

And before I hit you with the Big Kahuna of all stupidity, lets just look at letter F and I, that I happened to missed on inserting earlier..

F is for Fucuk! so, Fucuk is a Malay word now? Ooo..correct me if I'm wrong, I thought it was mandarin and was spelled 'Foo Chook'. Why don't they try to spice thing up and mis-print Fucuk as FuckU, that will be fun, eh? alang-alang menyeluk pekasam kan..alang-alang bangang.

I is for Isau or Ihau in English (SERIOUSLY??) and they kinda expect that people would ask what the fuck is Isau? so they took their time to put a definition in bracket instead of replacing it with more common living things like Ikan or Itik or Ipar Saya Yang Tinggal Di Rumah Sebelah.

Now, brace yourself, because real soon you'll be blasted with the ultimate force of 100% undiluted pure stupidity...Here is the letter X :

Biskut- X???? come on lah! Why don't they just save their fucking time and just filled the book with all the alphabet shaped cookies.. A for Biskut A, B for Biskut B, so on and so forth. What happen to X-ray? Who forbid the kids' book publisher to print X for X-ray?!

There's something terribly wrong with this book here. Entah-entah this is some alien propaganda to make the future generation dumber so that it will be easy for them to conquer planet earth. Whatever it is, for me this book is total nonsense, layak dibakar saja! Crap of all crap. Someone should sue the publisher because of their negligence of letting this bullcrap out in the market, risking the intelligence of the future generation

What say you?

A P.Ramlee Filled October

2010-10-29T01:43:00.000+08:00

Radio ERA and Astro are giving tributes to the legendary P.Ramlee on this month of October.
It's nice to hear the local artistes did their rendition of P.Ramlee's songs on national radio.

I've always love to sing P.Ramlee's songs with my out-of-tune gitar kapok. Not just in October, I sang them all year long.
Like this one here, was recorded last June, I think, while I was watching 'Bujang Lapok' on TV2.
If you listened really, really careful you could hear Aziz Sattar's voice on the background.

I sang 'Manusia' or 'Tanya Sama Hati' or 'Nak Dara Rindu' when I'm happy.

I sang 'Engkau Laksana Bulan' or 'Dimana kan Ku Cari Ganti' when I'm sad and have the urge to hurt people.

I sang 'Tunggu Sekejap' when I thought I was in love, only to then discover that I was not and so again brought me to sing 'Engkau Laksana Bulan' and change the lyrics to 'Engkau Laksana Anjing' (No disrespect to the P.Ramlee's song! That's the angst singing, strictly for my own personal amusement)

None the less, I love P.Ramlee so much - the music, the movies..pure genius!
May his soul rests in peace. Al-Fatihah.

My Blog is Dead..

2010-09-17T01:00:00.001+08:00

And I thought my blog was dead.
Like seriously dead. I almost forget that I actually have one hehe..
The thing is, I'm not really in a mood to write, to share my thoughts in writing.

.............
............................

See, I have no idea of what more to tell!

Perhaps I could tell you about my wonderful August. Still very much alive on the 20th, to celebrate my 32nd years of existence and a super bright potential of permanent celibacy. Oh, and on early August, just a few days shy to bulan puasa, my dear friend MissInts and another two of my best girls from KL brought their gorgeous self down here in KK specially for MissInt's Bachelorette Party a.k.a Hen's Nite. Me and three other beautiful ladies of the Involuntarily Abstinence Alliance planned and executed the party oh-so-well. Kudos to us since we all have an excellent track records of poor time management and severe indecisiveness issues.

* I made this! :)

* An angel and 8 devils..huahuahuahua!(demonic laugh..)

* the single ladies posing ala-ala jeles with the bride to be (serious shit! I look like I had fake eyeballs!)

Then there was puasa. Lost 3 kg throughout the fasting month and gain another 5kg on the fourth day of Hari Raya. Impressive!! way to go, Fatass!

Yeah, that kinda summed up my beautiful August. It's passed mid September now.
Unlike the beautiful, mellow, uber laid back August, September is speeding, supersonic!

Maybe October will turn out to be so awesome which explained why September seems like running to the finish line. Not the marathon run, but the 100 meter sprint sort of run.
The kind September is merely making room to the anticipation of October.

Hope September wont give up that easy and comes up with something reasonably great before it reaches the end.

Come on September, you can do it!

Ijam and The Black Hole of Lost Hopes

2010-05-17T01:35:00.004+08:00

I am stranded in a black hole of lost hopes. My lost hopes.

It's a very crowded place. All tangled, crisscrossing with one another, like layer after layer of multicolored spider webs. I am right inside it. Walking. Sightseeing. Laugh and cry as images of past hopes flashed in front of me.It's amazing how someone as pessimistic as I am could fill up this gigantic space with what used to be hopes.

Somebody should have warned me of this place. You see, it devours hopes..sssshh. Don't be too loud, I try not to piss it off even more. Wonder how do I know that this thing is dead angry? From its air. Take a breath, you couldn't help but to choke on its heavily infused taste of concentrated anger. It feds on hope to keep its fury alive.Every time as one dead hope came sliding through, it bounces on the multicolored web like a rubber ball, until it finally slows down and melted and formed itself into tiny strings which then continued to multiply and multiply and eventually vanished into thin air.

As I stood there, staring at the infinite colorless sky of my incoming lost hopes, a big, two times the size of a standard soccer ball, red colored ball hit me right on my face. Knocked me so hard and made my nose bleed. Oh fuck! Even when that hope was already lost, it still managed to hurt me! My eyes follow the red rubber ball as it bounces here and there, up and down, and finally poof! - disappear. I pulled up the collar of my white t-shirt and wiped my bloody nose with it. My blood smeared all over my t-shirt and the bleeding didn't show any sign of stopping. I put my right palm on my nose as I held my head up and that brilliant act made the blood now streaming down on both side of my cheeks.Genius. The bleeding stopped, somehow. But with the after-impact soreness and dizziness I felt like I entitled myself to some explanation. And so I shouted:

“ Hey Black Hole!!”
No answer. So I shouted again :
“ Hey Black Hole!!!!!!”
“ What??!!!” , answered. Reluctant and angry, but answered.
“ That giant red ball, what the hell was that?”
“It's your lost hope, dumbass!”
“ What lost hope in particular?”
“ Hmm..from the size of it..got to be your lost hope of finding true love!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Did I hear it right? Was the Black Hole just mock me? Was the Black Hole just laughed its ass off at me? There's no fucking way that gigantic red ball could be my hope of finding one true love. I mean, I could accept a ping-pong ball, or a tennis ball the most, but a ball that monstrous?

I am furious. Furious at the stupid Black Hole. Even more furious at myself. And so again, I shouted :

“Hey Black Hole!!”
“What?!!”
“Fuck you!! Fuck yourself and fuck your meaningless balls!!!!”

The First Quarter of 2010

2010-04-29T23:39:00.007+08:00

Hello readers!

It's been quite a while since I last posted anything.
Been very busy living my life (and by that I am not at all implying that people who blog don't have a life!) What can I say, 2010 has been really kind so far.

I got to see the talented, li'l Miss Zee Avi on March 20th. Pure talent. Awesome. Amazing.

* The owner of this blog would like to apologize for this bad picture and would like to justified that it is all due to her lack of photography skills and stupid unsteady hands. Zee Avi is definitely uber lovely in person!

And of course, all the lovely friends I've got to share the beautiful music with. Super, duper awesome.

Then, about two weeks after I got the chance to perform the Umrah with my family. I am so thankful for that. Mekah and Madinah are simply amazing. Enchanting, way beyond pictures and words. It's hard to be described. All I can say is that back from Umrah some things just getting so clear - so crystalline clear, beaming straight to my eyes in full blown technicolor, digitally enhanced like ASTRO Beyond.

I feel awaken.
Content.

Yeah, content, that's the word.
Or perhaps the closest to describe it.
Or perhaps at this moment, that is how I feel.

Based on my past records, I can crush and crumble at any time.

Suddenly Rivers

2010-04-01T01:18:00.009+08:00

This is actually kinda odd.
Back from KL, about more than a week back, when I thought I was going to take more than a week to rinse off my Zee Avi madness (Zee Avi ROCKS!!!, btw), I suddenly have this one particular little thing nesting inside my head :

RIVERS CUOMO

No apparent reason. He just popped into my head. He overwrite the lingering thought on Zee Avi in an instant. The next thing I know, Weezer is getting a sudden heavy rotation on my iPod, then I started downloading more and more Weezer's video from Youtube, then I found myself googling 'Rivers Cuomo images' every time when I'm on line and after pretty much done with lurking around on Facebook.

You see, actually back in 2006, I kinda gave up on Weezer. Back then, I was working as a government officer, had my own office, I wore baju kurung to work and I had handbags, real handbags. I felt all grown up, well sort of. Then one day while in the office, I took my first listen to Weezer's 'Beverly Hills' , from the Make Believe cd specially and illegally downloaded by an old friend of mine. And to my surprise : I hated it!
I don't know why, I thought the melody was good but the lyrics are just lame. I didn't find it cute for a 36 year-old Rivers to sang that kind of song anymore.

I thought I had outgrown Weezer.

But who was I kidding, I soon realized that I was no way near of ditching Weezer. Music from Make Believe started to grew on me. I still didn't like Beverly Hills as much, but Perfect Situation in fact had resuscitate my faith back into Weezer.

I was again Weezered, and still am until now.
I left my 'serious' job, and took this shitty job but nonetheless allowed me to wear jeans and Converse sneakers to work.
I've been doing that shitty job for almost four years now.
I am reasonably happy, and I am thankful for that.

* Rivers accessorize well in nerdy specs and bushy moustache! :)

So, here are some facts about Rivers Cuomo, in case you haven't got a slightest idea on who the hell is he :

- He's the geeky frontman of WEEZER
- He's 40, born in 1970
- He's a Harvard graduate
- He's crazy over soccer
- He's actually kinda balding, and I find that fact adorable (haha! again, I don't know why!)
- And he's married to this Japanese lady named Kyoko Ito. Now she's taken the name Kyoko Ito Cuomo, ah what an over exploitation of the letter 'O' ! (haha sangat berbaur dengki sebenarnya..)

* she's his long time girlfriend (groupie? -sekali lagi berunsur dengki) , they get married in 2006, they have a daughter named Mia, and Kyoko live a very private, low key life.

Damn. Why can't we all have a decent nerd to come home to?

Hilang

2010-03-15T00:01:00.004+08:00

"Engkau pergi, aku yang hilang."

^ My favorite line in the lyrics.
Amazing, how a 5-words-sentence could sum up something so intricate.
The line could be the shortest short story ever written.
It's subjective, yet so definite.
It tells a lot, but in an open-for-your-interpretation kinda way.
It's simple, yet complicated.
It sounds so hopeless, I can't help but to really, really like it!

Bahasa Melayu memang cantik :)

Set aside the out of tune guitar and the mediocre singing, this is actually a very lovely song.

Count The Geeks When You Can't Sleep

2010-03-13T01:51:00.025+08:00

Went to watch "Remember Me", starring Robert Pattinson of Twilight's fame, with my friend Miss A. The only reason - sebab kawanku Miss A adalah penyokong setia Team Edward! yeayy!
Lagipun aku mau jua menghayati apa yang kawanku Miss A bilang pasal mata Edward Cullen yang sangat cun kononnya tu haha..jan marah aa Miss A...

The verdict : Robert Pattinson memanglah undeniably gorgeous, tapi tertidur jugak lah aku di tengah-tengah movie tu! aduih..buhsan eh..

Bukan tidak hensem, but I prefer to look at much geekier, nerdier, dorkier guys hehe..memandangkan sia tidak dapat tidur and I don't have anything better to do, here's my Top 10 list of my favorite geeky looking men in showbiz:

10. Joseph Gordon Levit

9. Tobey Maguire

8. Aaron Ruell - He's not really that famous. He's super cute in "On The Street With Judas" and sangat-sangat hodoh dalam "Napoleon Dynamite"

7. Edward Norton (in Fight Club)

6. Zach Braff

5. Damien Rice

4. Seth Rogen - regardless gemuk or kurus

3. Thom Yorke, Thom Yorke, Thom Yorke!

2. Elijah Wood - he's featured in the recent Oliver Peoples' Eyewear ad campaign, cuteness gila babi!

And finally, currently menjuarai takhta teratas hehehe..none other but Malaysia's very own..
1. Shahredza Minhat

Okay, enough on killing time and drooling over geeks I could never get (haha!) bawa-bawa la pegi tidur, aku ni mau kerja besok pukul 9 pagi.

Sad, Sad Oh So Sad..

2010-03-12T00:36:00.006+08:00

2010 is the year where I don't really give a fuck on who won the Oscars.
Don't get me wrong, I still love watching movies - in cinemas, on tv, on pirated DVDs and trailers on Youtube - movies (and music) are still my definite happy pills. It's just that I was not really that excited about watching the Academy Awards like what I used too. Oh, and I also missed this year's Grammys, I heard Kings of Leon was the big winner of the night, right? Yeah, they rocks. I knew it even without the justification from the Grammy's people.

Again, concerning Oscars, regardless if I miss the show or not,I always have this sense of accomplishment if I managed to watch all the nominated movies. And 2010 marked my worst record - I haven't watched like almost half of it! (I haven't even watched 'UP' yet!) . And I don't even know who stars in 'The Hurt Locker'? And that movie "Crazy Heart", pairing Jeff Bridges and Maggie Gyllenhaal - tiada napsu sia mo tinguk! .

I think I am no longer affected by what the Oscars say are good.

I watched this movie - 'Brothers' , last week with my best friend Miss A. I thought the movie was an Oscar nominated one, I later checked and it's not. But the movie was awesome nonetheless.
Caution, though. If you want to watch it, please come with a relax, clear, uninterrupted mind - the movie was so tense, you need to put on your best concentration for you to enjoy it.
It's a sad, sad movie. It's sad to see good people got tangled on bad luck and unfortunate circumstances. It's sad to be unheard, unnoticed and consumed in such irreparable sense of constant lacking. It's sad to be inferior. It's sad not to be able to contribute.

Of all the composed collection of sadness, for me the saddest part was the moment when Natalie Portman decided to finally read the letter from his husband (Tobey Maguire), which he wrote before his deployment to Afghanistan. Because what's worst than physically losing the person you loved is to have them right in front your very eyes, to have them always in your reach but to later realized that you could no longer love them the way that you used to.

To give up on hoping that they're gonna change.
To tell yourself to deal with it, things are no longer the same, things will never be the same.

And that I say, is just sad, sad oh so sad.

Balboo Mencari Cinta..

2010-02-20T01:15:00.006+08:00

I have a confession to make : I like to Google my name from time to time.
It's not an act of vanity or anything like it, it's just that I enjoyed finding out how the world wide web has acknowledged my mere existence so far. (Nampak sangat sebenarnya masih berharap untuk menjadi famous! wakakaka!)

And earlier today, like 15 minutes earlier, I Googled my name and this is by far the most surprising search result of Nur Nizam Shadan ever generated : click HERE

OMG! Seriously, OMG! I barely recalled that I ever written this short story titled "CINTA BALBOO" Again, OMG! and super, super, duper OMG because I can't believe that it was actually got published!

It was a short satirical story about this alien named Balboo. Balboo is literally an alien, from this planet, I forgot what name did I put on that particular planet, who accidentally stumbled upon a website from Malaysia while he was surfing this so-called 'intergalactic cyberspace'. It so happened that the website is a fan site of Malaysia no 1 pop princess, by the name of Siti..something (shit! I can't remember! but of course it was inspired by none other than our own Siti Nurhaliza)

To make this short story shorter, Balboo fell madly in love with Siti and decided to gamble his faith and prepared himself to take his solo space voyage and head down to the unknown frontier of planet earth. Unfortunately, Balboo crash landed on America instead of Malaysia. Oh, and I almost forget to mention that Balboo has this one genius cousin who help him to get ready for his planet earth adventure. This genius cousin of his had geniusly, forged him an American passport (but dumb enough to forget forging him some American Dollars!) And so because of that Balboo had to stay in America for a few more years, work his ass off just to collect enough money to pursuit his beloved Siti in Malaysia.

Adakah cinta Balboo akan kesampaian???

Hahaha I still remember how this story ends. This story is downright ridiculous, but in a very good way I think- and bear in mind, I was only 22 when I wrote it. I've written much, much more weird, ridiculous stuff when I was much, much younger. I really loved to read this story once again, but I already lost my original scribbling of it. And its soft copy must have been in any floppy-disk in some black hole somewhere.

Can anyone help me to get my hand on this 'masterpiece'? Hahaha it's my first published fiction, I have rights to call it a masterpiece!
You see, it's already on Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka Opac Library. Anyone get access to it?

So, to all my dear friends and readers, hoping for your concerns, or perhaps helps and efforts to get me my Cinta Balboo back :)

A Short Notes on Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T00:39:00.003+08:00

People say all's fair in love and war.

It's like a simple disclaimer to bail you out from the stupid, stupid mistakes that you made, all in the name of love.

And so, on this special day of honoring this thing called love, I forgive myself.

Sleep, don't Weep

2010-02-09T01:46:00.003+08:00

Life just got too painful sometimes.

No wonder some people consider suicide.

Some people consider substances - anything, as long as it helps with the pain.

There were times when I think that I am strong enough, I will not cry, I will deal with the pain.
But obviously, it's not actually that easy.

And not being able to sleep make it even harder.
I hate myself so damn much right now.
I hate the life that I am in.
I hate the skin that I am in.

this is not how it supposed to be.
this is not how it supposed to be.
this is not how it supposed to be.

I need to sleep.
I really, really need to sleep.
God, please let me sleep.

No, this is not a suicide note.

AJL Datang Lagi!

2010-01-09T01:18:00.007+08:00

Really look forward to watch Anugerah Juara Lagu malam esok.
And for the first time, since 2007, I'll be watching it at home, in the comfort of my own living room.
Yup, sudah 3 tahun berturut-turut aku cuma menengok AJL dari tv yang kabur-kabur di Electrical Department di kadai tempat ku kerja.

It's a great list of contestants this time around. I just can't afford to miss it. With all the young, new talents, rasa macam tengok battle of the band or talentime macam tu. Kira peserta paling season pun Faizal Tahir and Misha Omar ja la.

AJL 2010 Trivia : Do you know that Faizal Tahir was born in 1978? That was the same year as the year that I was born, and that makes us both to be 32-years of age this year, and Faizal Tahir is like the oldest among the bunch. OMG! Mr. FT, you make me feel sooooooooo damn old!

So, who am I rooting for this year? Kalau based on preferrence memang lah aku akan bias kepada Faizal Tahir. But I don't think he'll be performing in the final, right? Isn't that girl Shila going to be singing on his behalf again? I'm not so sure, but indeed BENCINTA is a great song, and kalau FT yang nyanyi, better chance to grab the title. I'm not saying that Shila's not good, but Faizal Tahir kompem-kompem lah bah yang paling best!

I hope this year is gonna be Aizat's year. The only contestant with two songs qualified to the final. And both songs are good. And if Aizat does not, again, nearly-screwed up that Pete Teo's song like what he did in the semi-final, I think tomorrow night will be the biggest night for PERGI. I do like KAU & AKU also, in fact it was one of my favorite gitar-kapok-sing-a-long in 2009. But everytime I listened to that song, I couldn't help but to have images of Liyana Jasmay hovering inside my head. Haha I don't know why, but Liyana Jasmay is the first thought that hit my mind whenever that song was playing, and that's kinda disturbing. No, I don't hate Liyana Jasmay. That girl can act.

AJL 2010 Trivia : Do you know that when Aizat was a whole lot chubbier, a few years back, that boy seriously, I mean SERIOUSLY, look a lot like me! Now that he's much, much skinnier, in certain angles he has this obvious resemblance of my next door's cousin.
Which translates : even if I get thinner, I'll still look like a boy. Damn.
I remembered back then, when the chubby Aizat was still in the Akademi Fantasia 5 reality show, Liya, my friend Mdm Z's daughter refered to Aizat as "Uncle Auntie Ijam" haha..

And finally, or shall I say 'And Actually' (direct translation of 'DAN SEBENARNYA', get it? ah, nevermind..) this is my Black Horse to win the race :

Here's another video of my fat fingers strumming the guitar. My finger slipped on the last note
haha..

AJL 2010 Trivia : This song, DAN SEBENARNYA by Yuna was actually quite an old song. First time aku dengar lagu ni, I think around late 2006, if I'm not mistaken la. I heard it first from Yuna's MySpace. Now, 4 years later, baru lah lagu ni got it much deserved recognition.

So, tomorrow sama-sama lah kita tengok samada ramalan aku ni betul atau tidak..

Day 6, 2010

2010-01-06T00:09:00.005+08:00

Walaaaaaaaaaawehh!!

2010 already! Day 6 of 2010, to be exact.
It's not too late to say Happy New Year, I think. I do think that it is still appropriate to wish people 'Happy New Year' up until February. Yeah, I do think so.

So, in a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being ' awesome-freakin-awesome', and 1 as the 'wtf-had-you-wasted-your-365-days-with??' ) how had I lived my 2009?
I give my 2009 a humble 7

2009 wasn't that bad. Slightly above so-so.
It's a strange year, with a lot of strange, peculiar, unexpected happenings. But indeed, it still was good. A strange kind of good.

I didn't make any New Year's resolution in 2009. So it is reasonable enough that I didn't achieved any.

Career wise? - 4 of my colleagues got promoted, I am still the lousy Assistant Dept Head for over 3 years now. I got a decent salary increment last April, yeah, that's good enough. I can live with that.

Health wise? - Thank God, I didn't fell ill as much as in 2008 - I can tell by how much Panadol Cold&Flu wrappers I had accumulated in 2008..macam boleh penuh satu first aid kit punya box! (yes, I am a semi-hoarder, sometimes I kept my garbage)
Oh, and I lost a teeny-weeny, microscopic bit of weight too! haha..remember my "Biggest Loser"
entry last August? Well, of course I didn't turned out to be skinny or anything close to it (still can't say NO to cheese and I didn't care shit about exercises huhu) But, on my last visit to our favorite Dr. Lai, that was somewhere in mid October, I think. And according to his record :- from January 09 to October 09, I had lost 21 pounds! That is 9.5 kg yeehaa!
I don't know if Dr. Lai had intentionally messed up my records or his antique weighing scale can no longer tells accurate measurement; what the fuck do I care, it still is on the records haha..!

But to be honest, from August 26, 09 to January 6, 10 I only lost 5 fuckin Kgs. How's that for not trying too hard? Good enough, I can live with that. This is still an ongoing project, ok. So, as promised I will upload my latest pictures, and hell yeah I still look the same!
*Buyuk sebenarnya sebab tidak upload gambar satu badan hahaha...

Love and Relationship wise? - 3 of my gorgeous girlfriends got engaged in 2009! Looks like mating season is in the horizon. So this year will be the year of weddings, I supposed.
And as for me, what else can I say? I felt loved throughout the year. Surprisingly, 2009 was the year where I watched less TV, less DVD, less quality time with my gitar kapok and I didn't even finish reading a single book! And it's all because I rarely spent any time alone (except for bedtime and jamban time lah, of course..) I was constantly blessed with the companion of loved ones. Me and my best friend Kawang agreed of this one thing : we will go psycho if we're left too long in our solitary mode.
I am happy with last year's love. I am so can live with that. Hoping that this year will be pretty much the same.
Or perhaps, even better. Life is afterall a continuous pursuit of happiness, kan?

Happy New Year everyone! Wish that you all will find whatever it is that you're looking for.

Surviving Semporna

2009-12-22T23:37:00.008+08:00

Finally, after 3 long, seemingly endless weeks, I am back home from Semporna.

Wish I have more good things to say about Semporna, but for now, I couldn't think of any.
No offense for those residing in Semporna, in fact, kudos has to be thrown to you guys for surviving Semporna.

I have no intention to mock or to belittle or to be such a snobbish city bitch and list down all the terrible things I had experienced in Semporna. The fact is, in contrary to this district being the blessed territory of where the beautiful Mabul and Sipadan are located, this small town itself is sooooooo damn filthy!

It's such a sad, sad sight to be looked at - the streets are well decorated with spits, people are littering like it's nobody's business, sewers are being treated like garbage bins - and if you're lucky you can see the biggest fuckin 'biawak' bersantai-santai di dalam longkang. And don't get me started with the 'Pasar Ikan Masin' and the jetty areas..yikes! The two best words to describe it :

GARBAGE HEAVEN

I amazed myself on how I managed to survive my three weeks in Semporna. But there are plenty of contributing factors to it, here's the list (in random orders) :

1. The internet. Easy access to free wifi, even kedai mamak pun ada
2. 100 Plus
3. Uncle Chang's Seaside Seafood Restaurant
4. HBO
5. Friends. My crazy, crazy friends..seriously, you guys RAWWWK!

* Boss kami urang Si Mr. V jugalah yang paling cool hihihi..

6. My crazy, crazy friends and their endless supplies of horny-boys-jokes. Iyek? Jadi ko marah?
7. KFC
8. Duku and langsat
9. And these cool yet warm Semporna kids whom we worked the semi-hard labor with :

You see, life isn't always a calm and pretty ride. It's hard most of the time. It's ugly most of the time. We just need to look for the plain, simple, honest things that make some of the shittiest episodes of our lives seemed bearable. Acceptable. Livable. Even enjoyable.

But nonetheless, if you ask me would I re-lived the Semporna experience ever again? Here's my straight to your face answer :

FUCK NO!!!!!!!

Holding Too Loose, Moving Too Slow

2009-11-26T22:19:00.006+08:00

When I was a kid, when I was like 6-7 years old, I really want to have this plastic toy watch. It's not even a working wrist watch. It's just like a plastic bracelet with a clock face right in the middle. It's not even expensive, I think it cost around 80 cents - RM1.20, or may be cheaper. It came in various colors - pink, blue, green, yellow. My eyes and my heart were set on the yellow one. Light yellow, with white face and two tiny red needles.
I wanted it so, so bad.
I saw it on my cousins' hand.
I saw it at the junk food vendor's stall every time I followed my mom to the weekend's market.

But I was too afraid to ask for it.
I was afraid that my mom would say 'No'
I was afraid that even if my mom had bought it for me, the toy watch was too bloody expensive that my mom had to sacrifice on not buying something that was more important.

That's how it went; I never took my chances.
I couldn't bear the possibilities of being turned down. I believed that rejection would break me worse rather than keeping false hope that one day I will owned that plastic watch.

So, what I did was, I constantly prayed in my heart that in one fine afternoon, when my dad returned home from work, he would bring with him a yellow, plastic toy watch - exactly like the one I'd been dreaming of.
Day in, day out, I just waited and waited and waited.
But, of course, I never got the watch. It's not my parents' fault, I kept thing to myself ,they didn't have the slightest idea.

I never changed.

Razor Sharp (Not!)

2009-11-19T23:25:00.006+08:00

Sengal siot tengok "Pisau Cukur"!

The movie was not actually that bad. Ada jugak lah part-part yang kita buleh ketawa2.
The problem is why do every FEMALE CHARACTERS in that movie have to be so GEDIK??
Looking at Fazura 'tergedik-gedik' was entertaining at first - the 'oh my prada!', 'oh my Gucci' tagline were admitably very funny, up until she said 'oh my jimmy -choo!' (in a fake sneeze, wtf?)
The 'tergedik-gedik' parts, seriously need to be toned down.

I think the funniest bit in the movie was when Fazura and Aaron Aziz sedang menyoal siasat one of Datuk Zak's wife (lupa either Umie Aida or Sh Sofea) : the wife said something like "Mestilah dengan perempuan sial tu!", then Fazura stupidly asked; "Perempuan sial yang mana?", and as a reaction to that Aaron Aziz rolled his eye and gave Fazura the 'how-stupid-can-you-be?' look.

I was a bit dissapointed, sebab ramai orang cakap the movie was good.
Thanks to this guy, ndak jugak lah rasa menyesal sangat spend my RM 8 on my tiket wayang :)

He played this character, Faqir, who was head over heels for Maya Karin.

And he looks sangat-sangat cute kalau dari pandangan sisi hehehe..

Go Nerds!

2009-11-07T00:17:00.007+08:00

(500) Days Of Summer

Yes, that's officially my 'Best Movie' pick for 2009, so far.
And since we're now already in the month of November, I don't think there will be other movies to top it.

This is my sort of movie. The special sort of which I could watch again and again and again. The sort that made me happy+sad at the very same time. The sort that always put a smile on my face every time I watched it. The sort of movies that always come with great songs made perfectly for my ears.

This is my sort of movie, the sort with the simple winning formula :

Nerdy Boy + Quirky Girl

It always work for me. Most of my all time favorite movies have this equation in it. So, if this formula also works for you and you do think that nerds rock and you really do think that dating any one of the CH703 Food Jammer's boy would be really awesome, then I recommend you to have these in your DVD collection :

1) Juno
Nerdy Boy : Michael Cera
Quirky Girl : Ellen Page

2) Garden State
Nerdy Boy : Zach Braff
Quirky Girl : Natalie Portman

3) The Wedding Singer
Nerdy Boy : Adam Sandler
Quirky Girl : Drew Barrymore

4) Wristcutters : A Love Story
Nerdy Boy : Patrick Fugit
Quirky Girl : Shannyn Sossamon

5 ) Almost Famous
Nerdy Boy : Patrick Fugit
Quirky Girl : Kate Hudson (the legendary Miss Penny Lane!)

6) Eagle Vs Shark
Nerdy Boy : Jemaine Clement ( that fella from HBO's Flight of The Conchords)
Quirky Girl : Loren Horsley

7) The Last Kiss
Nerdy Boy : Zach Braff
Quirky Girl : Rachel Bilson

8) Napoleon Dynamite*
Nerdy Boy : John Heder
Quirky Girl : Tina Majorino
* This is the scariest type of nerd ever portrayed in a movie. I do have limit on the sort of geeks I dig, and Napoleon is it. But the movie's awesome none the less!

9) The Fight Club
Nerdy Boy : Edward Norton (geeky and disturbed and shopped at IKEA, haha nice combo, I like!)
Quirky Girl : Helena Bonham Carter

10 ) Spider-Man / Spider-Man 2 (the third was a dissapointment..)
Nerdy Boy : Tobey Maguire ( Peter Parker is like the best geek icon ever..!)
Quirky Girl: Kirsten Dunst ( not really that quirky, but she's feisty enough)

and of course, finally..

11) (500) Days of Summer
Nerdy Boy : Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Quirky Girl : Zooey Deschanel

(500) is great! The song for the opening credits is "US" by Regina Spektor, like how awesome is that??!! It was so excellently narrated. At first I found myself falling for Summer (Zooey) free-spirited character, and her idealism about a relationship-without-label thingy, but as the movie progressed I started to drift to Tom's (Joseph G-L) side as his pain growingly became relateable - uncertainty, in any circumstances, sucks!

Go watch this movie. It's nice, it's simple, it's heartfelt, it's just awesome.
And it is not a love story.

Hail the Basterds!

2009-10-26T00:13:00.006+08:00

Watched "Inglourious Basterds" with my friend, Mr.R last night.
It was a mid-nite show,an 11.30pm show.
Mr.R actually wanted to watch "Whiteout", screening at 12am.
But I told him that 'Basterds' is a waaay better choice.
I told him it's Quentin Tarantino's so it gotta be good.
He didn't have the slightest idea of who on earth is Quentin Tarantino?
You see, Mr.R is the sort of cinema-goers who enjoys mainstream, commercial movies and don't seem to be bothered by who's the director?who made the soundtracks?what the critics say about it? etc..etc..
So, to simplify things I just told him that Quentin Tarantino is one of my all time favorite director.
Then he asked me to name any other Quentin Tarantino's movie? I said 'Kill Bill'. He looked blank. I said 'Pulp Fiction'. Still blank. I rest my case. I just told him Tarantino is not that famous, but I like him a lot. But even after that he still hesitated on agreeing why we should watch 'Basterds' instead of 'Whiteout'?
So, I said : I want to watch Brad Pitt and he instantly said ok.

My say about that movie? - it was GREAT. Tarantino is brilliant as always - definitely my preferred kind of funny. Brad Pitt, with the accent - uber hillarious! And that guy who played "The Jew Hunter" - trust me, watch this movie, you gonna hate that character so,so much. But there's just one ultimate drawback : I HATE reading the subtitles!

I never actually expected that the people in the movies gonna speak French and German like most of time! It's not even Tarantino's fault, I blame it on the people who's in charge of inserting the subtitle. Why can't they used bigger, brighter font?? At some point, I was so dizzy trying to focus too much on reading the subtitle I felt that I almost puke!

or maybe, just maybe; I should get my eyes checked.
Maybe it's not the subtitle people's fault at all hehe..

And how was Mr. R first impression of Quentin Tarantino? Hmm..I'm not so sure. Well, he managed to stay awake the whole 2 and a half hour through, which is good considering he had quiet a reputation of falling asleep at movies screened past 10pm. He said the movie was good, but I am not at all convinced, no spark of enthusiasm came out from his comment.

He's still not done with wanting to watch 'Whiteout', though. Fine, I can tolerate watching Kate Beckinsale getting all scared and icy cold in the antarctic. Afterall, he did says ok on watching Brad Pitt slaying Nazis and marking swastika on their foreheads.

"Time Is Contagious, Everybody's Getting Old"

2009-09-28T23:56:00.005+08:00

I was browsing through my Facebook pages, while my 8-year-old nephew, Haziq, sat next to me and watching super-attentively as I showed him how to plant all those virtual veggies on Farmville.

I don't think Farmville really amused Haziq much. Although his eyes are stuck to the computer screen but he kept asking me : "Kenapa Mama Jam ndak main Mafia Wars?" and "Mama Jam, best kah tu Vampire Wars tu?"
But I decided to keep playing Farmville, he would leave if he got bored enough, so I thought. Still, Haziq didn't move a bit.

Then, a notification popped-up, saying that a friend had left a comment on a picture of mine. I clicked on the link, which led me to this picture :

Haha! This picture was taken 94?95? can't remember exactly. I think it was 1995, we were barely 17! Wow..this was like 14-15 years ago. Those are the stairs that led to our classroom. At that time, our precious 5-years in boarding school time, even wearing a white t-shirt with prints at 'Turun Petang' time was considered 'mildly-rebellious'. Because we're only allowed to wear white, so maksudnya yang 2 orang pakai baju hitam di atas tu memang otai lah! hahaha ketua peylang tu! Oh, lupa..yang pakai sandal brown tu pun kira melakukan 'dosa besar' jua tu!

OMG, this picture sure brought a lot of memories and a smile on my face :)
Suddenly, little Haziq asked : "Di mana Mama Jam begambar ni?" ,curious on where was the picture taken.
I answered : "Ini gambar Mama Jam masa sekolah dulu"
Then, Haziq blurted these out, in some sort of a 'disbelief' : "Eeh, sama ja pun muka Mama Jam ni!"
Yaaay! to Haziq's eyes, I look exactly the same as I was 14 years ago.

Should I take that as a compliment?

Or should I take that as a cue to grow up and make changes?

But then, come to think of it, what sort of changes do I actually need? the way I dress kah? Should I no longer wear checked shirt and cartoon-prints t-shirt? should I ditch my multi-colored sneakers? or should I doll-up a little bit more? maybe learn to apply eye-liner? or some blusher to highlight my hidden cheek bones? (cheek bones? what cheek bones? adakah anda bermimpi?) or ndakkan la mo buat plastic surgery plak kan? wakakakakaka...

Appearance wise, the only thing that I actually should take care of is : YOUR WEIGHT, you stupid fat-ass!

Hehe..other than that, I am happy being Haziq's Forever-Young aunty!

Happy, Happy Hari Raya! :D

2009-09-18T21:38:00.004+08:00

Wow..how fast time flies?
2 more days to Hari Raya. Yaaay..!

Thank God, my baju Raya siap on time. I only make a pair this year. Same as last year.
I am not really a fan of Baju Kurung. The only good thing about Baju Kurung is the fact that when I am looking forward to wear it, this could only mean one thing : it's Hari Raya time yeeeeha!

So, Happy Hari Raya to all. Maaf Zahir dan Batin kalau ada salah dan silap.
Here's a song for you guys. It's not a Hari Raya song. It's just a song that I like. Don't really care if you don't like it.
Have a great Raya!

Take Me Away, Take Me Away, Take Me Away

2009-09-13T01:12:00.003+08:00

It was a bad day, yesterday.

I wasn't that psyche about Friday either.

But yesterday was waaaaaay worst than Friday.

Sometimes I get so tired of not getting things that I want, or perhaps things that I deserved to get.

Sometimes I get so tired of trying to please people, trying to accommodate everyone.

Sometimes I get so tired of waiting and hoping for some people to apologize, or the very least acknowledge that they're wrong.

I am tired of being myself.
And I am really sad right now.

I think I am in need of a good cry.
And a great sad song to cry myself to sleep..

The Biggest Loser?

2009-08-26T22:05:00.007+08:00

I worried a lot about my health these past few days.
I don't know. I just don't feel as healthy as I used too.

I think I need to lose weight.
Damn right. I really, really mean it this time.

And so I thought this fasting month gonna make the diet seems easier(..iya lah tu, lagi la banyak makan!)
But again, as I said earlier, I need to lose weight and I really, really, really mean it.

So, to all my slim and slender eating buddies, dengarlah pesanan ku ini baik-baik...

Miss A :- as much as I luuurve having our combo of mac and cheese + vanilla muffin, Mr. Kenny Rogers will not be having our visits as frequent as it used to be. And as for having our regular 1901's New York Chicken while catching movies at GSC, the 1901's treats are now limited only to movies that run for more than 2 hours (the consumption of corn-in-cup, however, shall later be revised)

Mdm K :- Our Sushi King lunch date should be strictly 'sushi'..no additional tempura set, or all the deep fried things that march on the conveyor belt. And NO MORE visit to that all-greasy, all chunky-meat, nasi padang place.

Miss F :- My apologies in advance, if on my next stop to your house, and if your housemate- the talented cook; Miss S is cooking her famous Mee Ken Chong as always, I won't be eating as much and I shouldn't be having the 2nd serving and let say if I even think of getting near the Mee Ken Chong for the 2nd serving, I consent you to slap me on the face.

Miss L :- I know Jati Tomyam served the most wickedly, sinfully delicious Sup Daging, but for this time being, we have to settle for Tom Yam seafood (it also tastes good, what..) Don't worry, the prawns are all yours.

Miss Y :- How can we say no to Soto Jawa?? ah, tidak!! no more 'breakfast of champion' @ Seri Murni la until next year, Kawang huhu..

So, here's a picture, the most recent one, of my fat self :-

*Shit...macam mengandung 4 bulan hahaha...

I shall upload a new picture on January 1st, 2010.Hopefully a way better picture than this one.
If by January 1st, I don't upload any new picture, that would mean :

a) I am still a fat-ass
b) The DIY diet program obviously didn't work
c) My fats are super-stubborn, they refused to leave my body
d) I succumbed to the temptations of cheese and sugar
e) I don't have camera (lame excuse!)
f) Fat is the IN look for 2010

Wish me luck. We wait and see what will happen in 4 months hehehe....

Childish

2009-08-18T11:45:00.005+08:00

2 more days to my 31st birthday.
31
31
31
31
31
31

It's just a number. So far, it doesn't come with extra responsibilities. Nor does it comes with additional wisdom or maturity - or does it? or even if it does, I do still feel childish in a lot of ways.

My major concern about getting old(er) are the facts that I am nothing but a decaying organic matter like everything else that exist in this world.
And the fact that maybe I have not been using or utilizing this organic vessel that I am in, to it's optimum purpose.

I've been having this 'vessel' on loan for almost 31 years and what have I done with it?
So, today, I promise (promise is such a strong word to use, kan?) myself to try harder to not break my previous, current and coming promises to myself, to be a better care taker of my vessel - health wise, emotional wise, material wise, spiritual wise.

I am thankful to God for my wonderful life and I always pray for a long, healthy, prosperous life ahead.

And to all the people around me who've decided to love me (or the very least, not to hate me) ; family, friends..you know who you are, I am thankful for your presence and I appreciate your tolerant on how childish I could be sometimes.

Gone Coco-nuts in August!

2009-08-07T02:04:00.012+08:00

My island-inspired birthday party was great.
I shared the party with my August's babes : Miss A and Miss F.
The celebration was held on August 1st, which fell exactly on Miss A's birthday : 14 days short to Miss F's birthday : 19 days to go to MY birthday.

Yaay! We're (almost) 31!!!

And despite of all the wrong turns taken, the bad decisions made, the suppressed angers and unsaid thoughts, the under-achievements and constant procrastinations; pretty much all the bad and ugly things that 2009 so far had bring, I am glad that we're still very much celebrating life as it is.

Thankful that we're alive.
Thankful that we're surrounded by friends, by families, by people who cares about us.

Checked out our birthday cake ;
Mataii! 3 tingkat lagi. Men ko burung!! (hahaha sangat rempit kata2 ku..) . The cakes were a birthday prezzies from Miss Y and Miss I. We love you, darls!

I tell you, this place is awesome. It's just a small inn by the beach, located at Kinarut. Miss F was the one to first discovered this place, and all of us fell in love with it almost instantly. Here are some more photos from the party :

*Dancing in the moonlight!!

*Macam tambirang gilak muka ku di sini hahaha
*Miss S (center) thanx for coming, and special thanx to Kak L and family who had contribute so much to make this party happened.
*Do we all looked 31 to you?? I DON'T THINK SO!! (Haha..so in denial)

Damn. Now that you're older, the years seemed to move so fast.

To all my friends; my bebs (and a couple of dudes) who cared enough to show up and partied with us, thanks sooooooo much! And all the other friends who couldn't make it that night due to unavoidable circumstances and geographical barriers, all I can honestly say is, "Wish you were there!!"
And to all those other people who couldn't care less even to reply on our request to r.s.v.p, no worries, that would be the last time I'd ever bothered you with my invitation of any sort.

Hope we all live long enough to celebrate more birthdays ahead.
Hope we all will live a long, happy, prosperous and meaningful life, InsyAllah.

If I'm On Tv, Would You Watch Me?

2009-07-20T21:05:00.014+08:00

I am having 2nd, 3rd, 4th thoughts about attending my store party this year.
You see, the previous, previous parties I'd immediately got my two feet in as soon as they announce the when and where of the occasions.

But this year, I'm not so sure.
I'm not even sure 'why?' I mean, I do know the 'why', but I am not sure if that reason 'why' is worthy enough of missing the party?

I am so fuckin indecisive these past few days. And even if I've made the decision, most of the time it would be the WRONG one.
I do think that my life as a whole, is a collage of one wrong turn after another.
Yes, it sounds dangerous and filled with adventures but don't be fooled, it's really nothing to be proud of, it's not even close to being exciting.

Maybe I should write a TV script, a sitcom based on my miserable self. It will go something like this :

Lead Character :
Based on yours truly - 30 years of age, fat and rather short, moderately ugly, work in a supermarket (to make it more laughable, the work uniform will be seriously ugly!), currently single (always been single. but so in denial to conform with peer pressure), has big feet so she always have to wear sneakers. She's bitter and effortlessly sarcastic and love to talk about her thoughts on mortality - she's no goth, but she does fancy male rockstars who wear eyeliner. She LOVES money but at the same time she's so anti-establishment which explains why she chose to work in a supermarket. She'll look a lot like this :

The Sidekicks :
Her 3 bestfriends. ('LOOSELY' based on my favorite girlfriends. Some characters may contains a mixture of more than 1 of the real girlfriends characteristics. So girlfriends, don't feel left out ;P ) They've been friends for 17 years and went to high school together.

1) The gorgeous Teacher
Super gorgeous (wakakakakaka...!), so in fashion, crazy about shoes, lurrrrrrves little kids- can't wait to have one of her own, in a serious 2-years-old relationship with a hunky guy who owns a gym/ a footballer who plays for a top football club/ flies a 747 or a fighter jet/ a jazz musician(still can't decide on the profession of her 'guy' hehe..) As much as she loves to have kids, but she's not so sure if she's really ready to get married. Oh, one major characteristic : she HATES her job so much. She'll look a lot like this :

2) The FOXY Lawyer
Super smart, sharp-tongued, she always dress in super sleek attire that is so screaming 'masculine femininity' , a semi-feminist, can always imagine herself as a mother but not as a wife, she's also very 'ZEN' - she kept a small 'gong' on her desk (wakakakakaka ketawa karau aku sambil menaip part ni!) which she hits everytime she's about to loose her temper. Even in her busy schedule she manages to be an avid yoga practitioner. She's single and not looking, but on her roof it never stopped raining men! She'll look a lot like this :

3) The Dreamy Housewife
Married to a Police officer, quit her job as a lecturer and started a home-based wedding cards and souvenirs business, firmly believed that there's always a soulmate for everyone that it is just a matter of looking for it at the right place, at the right time. Hard-core romantic, always try to be the Goddess of Love a.k.a Dewi Cinta to her 3 bestfriends and constantly telling everybody how wonderful it is to be married and experiencing the joy of child birth. She'll look a lot like this :

The stories will be like a clash between 'Seinfeld' and 'Friends' with a stint of 'Sex and The City' (wakakaka sangat perasan best bunyinya!) . I'd like for it to be told in a chaotic manner, feeling a bit like watching 'Arrested Development'. None of the characters are supposed to be funny. The funny parts only kick-in as the lead character went into one wrong turn after another, tragedy after tragedy, one misfortune after another and sometimes she dragged her friends along straight down the shit holes. The stories will also incomprise a lot of picking a fight (not like fist fight or cat fight whatsoever, but more like expressing insatisfaction for poor services and intolarable rudeness) at eateries, public toilets, car wash, internet service provider, mobile phone service provider, banks, public transportation, book stores, people who drove like a motherfucker on the road etc, etc..

Hehe..this could go on forever. Maybe I should really penned it down and wrote a pilot.

You know what, I felt really good after writing this. And you know what, I think I'll go to my store party this Wednesday. Yeah, I sure will.

Monster

2009-06-24T22:44:00.005+08:00

My friend Kawang a.k.a Ms. Y is now back in KK.
We threw a surprise homecoming party for her. Me, Ms. A and Mdm K took the honor of doing all the cooking at Ms.F house. Everyone wore a white top with fuchsia colored lettering (especially hand-painted by me) , saying "WELCOME HOME, YEN!".
I should get the pics from Ms. A or Ms. i or Ms. S, and get it uploaded here. The pics would definitely tell better story, but I am too lazy to do so.

My Zee AVi CD arrived on the mail last week.
I've been extensively listening to her music on my drive to work and back home. She's great. In tribute to the spirit of 'Malaysia Boleh', she sure made us all super proud.
I snapped some photos of her freshly delivered CD from Amazon.com using my handphone, planned to get it uploaded here.
But hell yeah, I am too lazy to do so.

Transformers II : Revenge of The Fallen is now showing on cinemas, nationwide. Couple of my friends who have watched it are super excited to share their stories on how grande was the movie. I am looking forward to watch it. Maybe this Friday, or next Monday, or Wednesday. I don't know, I'll watch it soon. I am just too lazy to do so right now.

I am too uninspired to do anything.
But writing is a good therapy - to reduce anger, curb anxiety, avoid depressions.
Writing is a good diversion.
It works for me. Maybe hitting someone on the face is also a good therapy.
Someone who's deserving of a good punch straight to the face.

I knew quite a handful of those deserving someones.
Like today, at work I honestly felt like slapping a few someones on the face.
But instead of doing so, I decided to go to my friend, Ms.F's house and cried on her couch.
Yeah, I'm pathetic.
I still hate myself from time to time.
Hating yourself is not cool now that you're 30. But I am never been cool anyway.
So hell yeah I hate myself if I want to.

Straight from Ms.F couch, I went out for dinner with Kawang, Ms. A and Ms. i.
Friends are the best pain-killers. The best cure for my self-loathing mode.
And another good cure is looking at our "CutiCuti" pictures. All those pretty images while you're out, having great times, with great friends.. sure did make you happy.
And the fact of how effortlessly ugly I was in every pictures also never failed to amuse me.

There's this one picture where my head appear to be attached on my chest instead of my neck! that's one effortless photography wonder!
Earlier today, at work, while scanning through our pictures from the recent bowling tournament, a friend pointed out on how monstrous was my fingers looked in one of the pictures. To be honest, yes my fingers were super hideous in that picture. My fat, short, gruesome looking fingers. A definite eyesore, I have to say.
I should upload the pic of my ugly fingers here in this blog. So you, my dear readers couldn't agree less with the monstrosity of my fingers. I'll upload the pics soon.
But for now, I am still too lazy to do so.

Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah

2009-05-29T01:29:00.006+08:00

I made quite some histories in May.
My own personal history that was. Not that it would get published in any history textbooks like 20-30 years from now. But still, personally, I was creating history in May.

So, here are my "Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah" moments, in random order :

1) I can now drive with my shoes on!
Yes, as insignificant as it may sounds, but this was for me one hell of a major accomplishment. My friends, family, colleagues, whomever that ever been in the car with me behind the steering wheel would probably notice that I can only drive while 'berkaki ayam'.
It sounds very primitive, but it's a fact. I often pressed the gas pedal with my big toe, and would be pressing it on-off-on-off continuously, which explain why people who rode with me always complaint that my car would go all 'hiccuping' along the way.
It's a very subtle 'hiccup' actually, some passengers (and of course, me as the driver) won't even notice a damn thing.

To my two lovely feet, I'd like to congratulate the both of you for being such a good sport, for now being able to comprehend being bounded in shoes while maneuverings a speeding vehicle.
You two are an inspiration (I talked to my legs, that doesn't make me a psycho..)

2) I participated in a competitive sports event!
This one is a major breakthrough.
You see, I've always been and still am an epitome of a total KAKI BANGKU.
And by that I mean, I don't do sports, like at all. My only connection with competitive sports are that I watched them on TV. I subscribes to the Sports package on my satellite tv, but now I found it so hard to spend times to watch it. I used to watch the EPL almost religiously like 3-4 years back, but now I have to admit I hardly seen any games ever since Thierry Henry got transferred to Barcelona.
I am a Gunners supporter gone astray. Whatta shame..whatta shame..

So, back to me creating history - my friend Mr. A , from work got us all registered for our company's Bowling Tournament. It was done without my prior consent. But Mr.A had a strong belief that all 5 of us would make a great team. Of course I'd always play bowling with these people, but never in a 'real' competitive environment.
Nonetheless, I agreed to participate.

Guess what? Out of 17 participating teams, we ended up at 3rd place! yippeee!

Next,on this coming June, there'll be a Futsal Tournament. I'm not playing, my staffs will, but I do volunteered as a team Manager! Hehe that will also count as 'participating', right?

3. I've came to a total acceptance that being a teacher might never, ever been written in my destiny
Okay, it is true that I am not all happy, excited, passionate about my current job. But afterall, how many people do you think are honestly happy with their job?
Since the first day when I decided to fill in the online form for the teacher's training program, my heart was deeply sink in hesitation. The major question of "Do I really want to do this?"

Then, as I got the call to sit for the assessment exam, again the major question popped up : "Do I really want to do this?"

And so it went, I received the 'good' news that I had successfully passed the test and need to attend the interview on May 23rd - It was for a Diploma course to be taken at UKM. Was I supposed to be happy then?
Who the fuck am I kidding?? Do I seriously want to do this? Do I really want to be a teacher? Am I ready to trade my jeans and tees and my multi-colored sneakers for a collection of floral-printed baju kurung and glittery 'tudung' and matching, humongous crystal brooches?
Even the thought of it could almost make me cry!
I am so not ready to move on.
I am terrified of major changes.
I am a chicken shit who's afraid to venture beyond my comfort zone and have to settle with only 1/2 of my current paycheck.
I am afraid. I am terribly afraid.

Some of my friends say that I'd be stupid if I let this opportunity passed by. Even my sister at the very last minutes, had encourage me to go.Kak L, my other 'sister' who always had faith in me that I am so damn smart, I definitely should be in a teaching profession, try to convince my 'kepala batu' to just please attend the interview.

So, this blog entry here also serves as an open letter of apologies to my friends and sisters who're being disappointed by my somewhat immature, childish decision to not consider the precious opportunity.
I am sorry.
I am so consumed by my Peter Pan syndrome.
I am still intentionally lost in my Neverland.

It happened that, on May 23rd, I woke up at 10.30 in the morning. The interview was scheduled at 9.00am. I took a bath at 12.00pm, drive to work at 12.30pm.
And the rest, as people like to say it, was history.

shorts n socks n what the fuck am I gonna do with my life

2009-05-16T04:01:00.009+08:00

What's the best thing to do at 4.00 in the morning?

Sleeping, people should say.
Maybe not the best, but at least it's the most relevant.

Just realized that I am out of work uniform to be worn tomorrow.
So I decided to do my strictly-work-uniform-only laundry.

In two days, if this pattern of my laziness persist, I'll be also out of shorts.
The day after that I'll be out of socks.

I should buy some extra shorts and socks tomorrow, for backups.

I hope that all the problems in life can be solved as simple as buying some extra pair of shorts and socks.
Because there are days where we seriously don't want to do laundry.
And there are days where we couldn't even bear to look at the washing machine.
And there are days where we just hate the smells of detergent.

But nonetheless, there'll be also days where we don't even want to wear shorts.
And we wear our shoes without the socks.

Do we really need more shorts and socks then?

Trippin'!! (Part 1)

2009-05-05T23:46:00.033+08:00

Wooooooooohhhhooooooooooooo!

Mabul's AWESOME! Like, seriously, memang BEST GILAK!
And what made Mabul really, really, really awesome?
My five super-AWESOME friends I spent the holiday with, I spent the long road trip to Semporna with, I spent the every stops at Petrol Station's toilet at almost every major town at Sabah's East Coast with (and according to my friend, Miss A, our unofficial public toilet inspector, Lahad Datu has the best, squeaky clean petrol station's toilet. So, if you're from Lahad Datu give yourself a round of applause..)

* The all 6-aspiring-permanent-vacationers

It's true when people said that it's not just the destination that matters, it's the journey.
And the company you're traveling with, very much, indeed.

And so, we began our road trip on Thursday, April 30. It didn't went as smooth as planned at first. Our ride, which was courtesy of Miss F's bro, kinda broke down at the very last minutes.
Then, me and Miss A early morning mission to get an MC (for Miss A) from a government clinic failed miserably. We waited for almost two fuckin hours, and Miss A numbers weren't yet to be called. We aborted the mission, and for our long awaited blue sky holiday's sake we decided that we'd figure about the sick leave later, very much later. Yang penting, kita cuti dulu! itulah semangat yang kita mau!

Thank God, Miss F got a replacement ride from another brother of hers. At about 10.30 am, off we went to Semporna! I even managed to burn a cd consisting of 116 songs (of my choice, hehe..) the night before, especially made for this long road trip.
I luuuuurrrrvvve road trip. Especially when I'm not the one who's driving. And by the way, Miss F is one hell of a ridiculously awesome driver; she's driving all the way. Both going and back.

To make this about-to-be-long entry short, we did the followings throughout our 5 days vacation :

April 29: Arrival of Miss I, Miss Y and Miss A_2 from KL. Had a nasi padang lunch at Jesselton Point. Together with Mdm K and Miss B.

April 30 : Road trip to Semporna officially began! We stopped at Kundasang for lunch and did some minor picture-taking for warm ups (before plenty, and plenty, and plenty of picture-taking sessions ahead..)

We arrived at Semporna much later that night. And again, thank God that Miss F got so many brothers, another bro of hers was kind enough to be our host and provide us with free homestay at Semporna. His wife even cooked us nice dinner, and their little, cheeky Anaqi entertained us with his oh-so-cute laughter and baby talk up until the wee hours of the night.

May 1 : Off to the jetty at 8.30 in the morning. Miss F bro made one fine arrangement with the resort people, and guess what? The boat ride and the day-stay at Mabul also happened to be FREE. Yes, it's too good to be true. But it is true! Here are some pictures by the jetty :

Here are some rear view..(looked like I was peeing standing up.Damn..)

The boat ride took about 40 minutes, and then we landed on this beautiful, beautiful paradise ;

My oh my, this place is soooooooooooo beautiful. We all fell in love with Mabul almost instantly. After having our complimentary breakfast, and some briefing from the resort staff, recommending us to keep our slippers on while we're in the water to avoid poisonous/ dangerous fish like sting ray and such, we head straight to the beach. I love beaches! I just love beaches, but since I don't know how to swim, ndak berani la pegi jauh-jauh hehe..

Finished soaking ourselves in sea water, we walked our way to this place ;
Tadaaa! It's named the Water Bungalow. The scenery is nothing but fabulous..take a look :

At about 2.30 pm, we're heading back to Semporna. But before that, snapped some more pictures on the Mabul Resort jetty :

Upon arriving at the Semporna's jetty, which I didn't remember exactly what time, but the boat ride back was much longer since the boat had to make a stop at Mataking Island first, we let Miss F directly drove us to Tawau. We reached Tawau at about 6.15pm, just ngam-ngam time to go to Pasar Besar Tawau and bought ourselves some ikan masin, udang kering and the ever so famous, amplang.
Drove back to Semporna after stirring some 'unwanted' attention at another pasar, right in front of Servay Hypermarket. We bought some chicken wings and some 'bishop nose' for the adventurous eaters.
When we reached Miss F's bro house, our lovely host had already prepared our dinner. Aren't we lucky? They're like the best host ever!

May 2 : It's time to leave. We planned to start our journey back home at 5.00am, but then as nature intended, it was heavily raining. Which made us postponed the trip back home to commence at 6.30am. We planned to leave early because we wanted to make a stop at Sepilok and take pictures of Orang Utan. We only found out that day, that the Orang Utans could only be visited on their feeding time at 9.30am and 3.00pm everyday. But we, unfortunately arrived at 10.30am! So, this picture here is our only proof that we did went to Sepilok..

As much as I don't want to admit this, but I was asleep most of the time throughout our ride back home. Hehe..sorry Miss F, for being such a lousy co-pilot. After the stop at Sepilok and lunch at Bandar Indah, Sandakan, we made our third stop at Mensilau, Kundasang. Mensilau was so windy when we arrived. But the wind did help to give a very New Zealand-ish, Middle Earth-ish feeling to Mensilau. And these photos here described it very well :

I love taking picture with Miss I DSLR. As most of my friends know, I am probably the world-worst when it comes to taking pictures and videos, but using the DSLR my pictures look, well, very-very nice hehe..
It's getting dark in Kundasang, we're heading straight to Kota Kinabalu. But before that, a quick stop again at Nabalu Lodge to tapau ourselves the best cheese cake in Sabah. Trust me, Nabalu Lodge's cheese cake would be one of the best cheese cake you've ever tasted!
* Sedang menapau cheese cake bersama Miss Y

And finally, after more than 12 hours road trip, we're back in Kota Kinabalu. Yippeee! The journey was great, the destination was greater and all my lovely friends I shared the trip with are indeed the greatest!

But hey, our vacation wasn't over yet. There'll be a part TWO to this Cuti-Cuti story. I'll be posting the second part real soon, and by real soon I mean when I'm back in the mood to write and having plenty of time to kill (ceh..as if lah selalu busy..) So, till then, enjoy life!

30 Days of April

2009-04-30T00:22:00.006+08:00

It's a very weird month April is, or was.

April is my month of super-bipolarity. You don't have to know what the fuck that is actually supposed to mean, but let just say April has been very, very interesting yet torturous at the very same time.

You don't have to understand me. I always talk craps.

I hit my highest high in April. And crashed down to my lowest low, also in April.

Was my April good? Yes, it was.

Was my April sucks? Yes, it was too.

April is a month of almost-there-but-not-quiet.
Yes, even I, myself have a very hard time on trying to understand myself.
I wish I'd suffer from a multiple personality disorder, so that my alter-ego will slapped me hard on my face and scream to my ears : "WAKE UP, FAT GIRL!"
Then my other alter-ego will punch that stupid, first alter-ego straight to the face, broke her nose, chipped her front teeth and screams even louder : "FUCK YOURSELF AND GO TO HELL!"

I am not angry while I was typing this.
I am not at all disturbed or having any serious mental illnesses.
I just have a compulsion to write anything that is on my head everytime that I'm having a hard time to SLEEP.

Just like my April, sleep itself is a weird thing.

Few days back, I spent my unable-to-sleep night by watching "ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO" on dvd. It's not porn lah, assholes. It's a comedy. It's a Seth Rogen's movie. And I like Seth Rogen, regardless if he's slim or chubby.
My friend, Kawang watched that movie like a couple of month earlier, and she told me how the ending sucks, big time!

But regardless, because I like Seth Rogen I decided to watch that movie afterall. Kawang was wrong about how the ending sucks. The sucks part started at the point when Zack was doing Miri on top of the coffee bean sacks. That's just HORRIBLE! Zack's fuck-face was eeewww HORRIBLE! Not sexy at all. Seth Rogen - clean shaven, no facial hair, no nerdy specs, doing a close friend passionately but konon2 delicately on some stack of sacks - Not sexy at all!

And close to the end of the movie, where Zack was realizing his mistake and tried to reconcilliate with Miri, he was uttering lines that says something like this (I don't remember the exact words..) :
"..instead of just fucking, we ended up MAKING LOVE"

WTF?? How corny is that?

I certified this movie to be :

-Partially Good
-Partially puke-material
-Partially Cute
-Partially Ugly
-Partially Funny
-Partially irritating
-Partially Time-worthy
-Partially a waste of time and space

..just like my April.

(*I'm off to my beach vacation with my lovely, lovely girlfriends tomorrow morning..what a great way to end this peculiar April, eh?)

"Fish Gotta Swim, Birds Gotta Fly.."

2009-04-22T00:25:00.004+08:00

I was a TV addict.
I still like to think that I AM a TV addict.
But the fact is, I don't watch as much TV now.

I used to feel bloody devastated whenever I missed my favorite TV shows.
There were times where I almost cried because I missed one episode of HEROES, season 1.
There were times where I rather stayed at home on Saturday night so that I could watch AKADEMI FANTASIA!
There were times when I cried like crazy at the end of every episodes of Grey's Anatomy ( this one actually still applies! hehe..but I watched it on DVD now..I don't count that as TV!)

And I have to admit, one of my fave Tv show was AMERICAN IDOL.
Yes I was, or maybe still am a Reality Show Junkie.
Last season of AI, week in, week out, never missed a single episode.
But this year, I only managed to follow the Audition Episodes, and like a couple of weeks on Hollywood Week. Now the contest is officially on, I hardly watch any single episode from start to finish. Sometimes I only watched the first 1/2 hour, sometimes I only watched the last 15 minutes, sometimes the TV's on but I'd be asleep or not at all paying attention.

What the hell happened to me????

During auditions week, I singled out this one contestant as my favorite.
Her name is Megan. OMG I luuuuuuuurrrrrrrvvve her voice so much!
Simon was right, Megan had the most memorable audition ever. She was singing Billie Holiday's "Can't Help Loving That Man of Mine" and I was hooked. This girl is damn amazing!

Then, my sister and my friends who were still very much follow the show, kept telling me that this Megan girl was not actually that good.
But still I insisted to differ, eventhough I never had the chance to see Megan performed on the idol stage, I still like to believed that she's good and still try to convince these people who actually watched the show that Megan is great.

My friend Miss A told me that this Megan is snobbish and cocky.

I didn't buy it, up until I saw her sing that Bob Marley's song.
Damn, this girl is not as good as she thought she is.
This girl is not as good as I thought she is!
She got eliminated on the very same week if I'm not mistaken.

But the Billie Holiday's cover was so great! Why couldn't she keep up on sounding that great?

Then again, like last 2 days, while I was lying on my bed, listening to Billie Holiday's on my iPod, I started to sing along and kinda attempting to sing it like the B'jork's cover.
Being a great fan of my own self, I thought it's a good idea to record my sing-a-long on my handphone.
Here, take a listen. I don't think I sounded so bad. I don't think I sounded bad at all! (wakakakaka sangatlah syok sendiri!)

So, this means Megan was not actually that magical.
If I can sing it while I was lying down, just imagine what an ease for the well-prepared Megan to sing it. Megan must had rehearsed it a million times before performing in front of the judges, right?

Megan deserved the elimination.
But I still like her, though.
If in the future, she cut a good record, I'll probably buy it.
Or the very least , I'll get it downloaded from LimeWire.

The Funnest Li'l Thing

2009-04-07T23:11:00.005+08:00

I've been rather busy this past few days.

Busy?

Lazy?

Busy?

Lazy?

Combination of both, actually.

I was actually too occupied with myself.
I was actually too occupied with my new iPod Touch! Yippee!

I broke my promise to myself that I'd never, ever own an iPod of any sort, because I was once a very angry owner of an iPod Shuffle.

I lost that iPod Shuffle. I never even bothered to find it. It was free afterall. I won it from some Coke's contest. It was the unfriendliest little thing that I ever encountered. I hate that iPod Shuffle soooooooooooo much. I think that's probably why my iPod Shuffle decided to get lost. My iPod Shuffle must had felt so bloody unwanted. And an iPod, regardless of any sort should be loved and cherished by its owner. So, go my iPod Shuffle, I released you, find a better owner.. (psycho!)

But, the truth was, I almost lost it the first time I tried to 'sync' the new Touch with my iTunes. I almost think that I am so bloody stupid to even figure out how to use any iPod. I almost thought that I am not intelligent enough to use any products made by Apple.
Then, after a few angry, whiny, half-crying-half-talking phone calls to my dear Miss A, problem solved!
Hehe..it's not that hard. It's not that hard AT ALL pun sebenarnya! aku sja ni yang macam taik ndak pandai bersabar...

I'm glad I spent a fair share of my April's Bonus to buy this.
It's the funnest iPod ever, indeed!

Bukan Niatku Ingin Mentertawakan Orang....

2009-03-25T23:27:00.003+08:00

My friend, this girl who's my ex-staff, asked me for a favor to purchase a return AirAsia ticket to KL for her, since she's not yet to have any credit cards.
Wasting no time, I agreed to check and purchase the ticket for her, since the RM5 ticket seats are normally sold like hot goreng pisang.

But then, upon payment, my transaction was rejected - stating ERROR while the 'Verified by Visa' process.
WTF?
I've never even activated my 'Verified by Visa' secure code. I'd always skip this process everytime I purchase anything online. I know it's bad to ignore all this online purchase security issues, but I seriously hate to memorize passwords!

So, I called my Credit Cards '24Hours' Customer Care center. After being prompted to push one button after another, and waiting on the line for a few minutes, this was what my 24Hours Customer Care had to say to me :

"Your call has been forwarded to a VOICE MAIL BOX.."

Seriously.. WHAT THE FUCK???

Who's stupid enough to consider a VOICE MAIL BOX Service to be a 24 Hours customer care service?? Customer Care my ass!
I was furious for not being able to purchase the ticket and even more furious for not being able to contact my Credit Cards service provider.
I was pissed beyond words. So, to channel my anger to at least, something beneficial, I decided to lodge my complaint for that bank via their website, via email.
This is how my very emo email goes :

Dear StupidMotherFuckin'Bank ( Not included in my email, just for a more dramatic impact..)

I am so disappointed with your so-called 24hrs, 7 days a week CUSTOMER SERVICE, when my calls just now were being forwarded to a voice mail box.

Voice mail box DOES NOT equates your customer care service to be considered as available 24-7.

My calls were to inquire on why did AIRASIA rejected my ticket purchase transaction using my *** Visa and Mastercard, stating that the error occurred upon the Verified By Visa and Mastercard SecureCode. I never activated both my cards for these secure codes, because unlike most people, I am not good at remembering passwords, which explain why I prefer to use my cards insecurely rather than having to call your 24HRS customer care whenever I do online transaction simply because Ive forgotten what craps have I used as a password this time.
I never had problem on buying AIRASIA ticket before, so why were my transaction being rejected now? I need you to verify my Cards transaction status a.s.a.p. I Really hope somebody in your huge office do read this.

Very emo, eh? hehehe..

The next day, since in my complaint I chose to be contacted via phone, I waited for the damn bank to call. Wait and wait and wait and no surprise; no phone call.
So, again, I decided to call the Customer Care center one more time.

Thank God, the Customer Care center person responds so very nicely to my fueled-by-anger voice. In about 5 minutes, my problems solved, and my new Verified by Visa password was on its way to my email.
Thank God, earlier tonight, when I checked at AirAsia.com, the cheap tickets are still available. Yippeee!

Then, in my another email, I received a reply for my written complaint last night :

Dear Ms Nur Nizam,

Thank you for your email,

Further to your concern, kindly be informed that we have made an arrangement with our Callback Team to contact your goodself for verification purpose to enable us to assist you accordingly. Your Reference Number is ******.

We appreciate your patience and understanding on the matter.

Meanwhile, should you require further assistance, kindly call our Customer Care Centre at 03-******* (Kuala Lumpur) or 082-***** (Kuching) and our Customer Service Agents will be able to assist you.

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Asri Batu
Customer Care Centre

OMG...aku merasa sangat berdosa sekarang, tetapi tidakkah nama itu membuat anda ingin ketawa terbahak-bahak??

Talk To Me

2009-03-24T00:00:00.003+08:00

I was angry.
It was Monday, and I was angry.
I wasn't angry because it's Monday.
I was angry because yesterday, which was Monday, nothing seemed to work as planned.
I was angry because yesterday, which was Monday, there were too much shits happening around me, on me, close by me and I couldn't help but to feel so bloody, ANGRY
I was angry for the fact that I failed to make my Monday on this particular week, at least, a good Monday.

I had one terrible Monday.
Spent my boring Monday night by calling one friend after another.
But the evil boredom persisted.
Picked up my guitar and tried to sing Yuna's Deeper Conversation.
And managed to excellently fucked up such beautiful song.
Here, take a listen (not my angry Monday night cover, it's the original version of course..)

Is your favourite colour blue?
Do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outerspace?
And now im learning you

Is your skin as tanned as mine?
Does your hair flow sideways?
Did someone took a portion of your heart?
And im learning you

And if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
and Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

I let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
and Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
and Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

4x
Deeper Conversation
with me

Does your name rhymes with mine?

Nice, nice song, kan? I'm glad that the talented Miss Yunalis is finally getting her well deserved recognition (I mean finally, made available to our national radio..)
I remembered when I first stumbled into her MySpace page back in late 2006 or early 2007..listened to her song, read her blog, read her lyrics, just by looking at her pictures..the first thing that struck my mind at that moment was : I wish I lived this girl's life. To be honest, it was half admiration, half envy hehe..
My oh my, wonder how does it feel to be so bloody talented?
I hope and I know Yuna will continue making great music.

The angry Ijam Shadan hereby agrees that Yuna's music has a soothing effect on jiwa yang kacau and hati yang panas.

I suddenly feel the need for some iced milo and cheesespread on cream crackers or maybe some Oreos dunk in Marigold HL Milk and a good friend to talk about good music and good movies and sing along to my super amateurish guitar strumming, so we can do our rendition of Radiohead's Fake Plastic Trees and we can talk and talk and talk and talk and just be happy about it.

I think I'm in need of a deeper conversation.

The World Is Wonderful

2009-03-13T00:16:00.006+08:00

I am talking perfume tonight.

I bought a new one when I was recently in KL.
It's called " The World Is Wonderful" by Olivier Strelli.
It was love at first scent. I never even once heard of Olivier Strelli before, but I seriously heart the smell.
Plus, I dig its very whimsical-looking bottle :
*image from www.fragrantica.com
Plus, I've already used (although it's very vaguely consented..) my sister's Flower by Kenzo almost to the very last drop.
And plus, how can you not like the name of this perfume?

I don't really care much about brands or big names. If I like it, I can afford it, I buy it.
Preferences are subjective and everyone should live by it. But there are people who are just not paying respect to the subjectivity of preferences. I mean there are a certain type of people who really gets into your nerves by questioning or even worst, by undermining or by mocking your preferences on certain type of things just because you do not conform to things that are perceived by them as good or superior or similar to that.

Take for instance my friend, Miss A, colleagues who made fun of her COACH purse (or is it a clutch, kah Miss A?) because to them the brands that reign the grandest for purses/ wallets/ handbags are Carlo Rino or Beethoven or Sattini.

A couple similar things happened to me, at my workplace. But it's no way as severe as what had happened to Miss A. To some extent, I think it's quite funny..

a) Incident 1 (The Funny One)
Earlier last year I was wearing this perfume :
*image from www.fragrantica.com

On one fine morning in 2008, one of my staff complimented me on how I smell so very nice. So, with a smile, I sincerely thanked her. She then asked me what perfume is it? You see, knowing this staff of mine for over 2 years, I am almost certain that the words "Estee Lauder" won't mean a single crap to her. So I just answered:- some perfume my sister gave me. Then she took a closer smell at me, very much trying to take a guess on what perfume I had on. Suddenly she said : (translated from BM) " I know! This is the new SAFI perfume, right?!"
Oh, my..I was smelling like a 200 bucks and her best guess was a SAFI perfume?
Didn't want to disrespect her, I chose to say "No, lah". She added in such excited voice, "I know it's the new SAFI perfume. You don't have to tell me, I just know!" Pretentiously, I asked her. "Which new perfume?". Again she answered, "I am right, right? The new one, the one with Amy Mastura on the TV ad". I just smile, so it's up to her to make her own conclusion. Then she said :
"It's very expensive. Best nya, you can afford it"
I decided to keep smiling and I decided that it's best not to tell her on how little friction does the SAFI perfume cost compared to the one that I was actually wearing.

b) Incident 2 (The Not So Funny One)
Fast forward to the present - now that I am wearing my Olivier Strelli.

There's this one Senior Cashier, whom honestly, I seriously can't get along with. It's not that she's mean or anything, it's just that..I don't know, I found her very, very annoying. She has this sort of 'unintelligent' sarcasm that really crawls under my skins, giving me invisible itches and annoyance to my every veins. And what's worst, is knowing that as a much more 'intelligent' person there's no point of fighting her words with words, eventhough it's a much smarter words. She's pregnant now, so I tried my best to be nice to her, to keep nice to her.

So, like last 3 days, while I was helping my 3 other staffs on setting up the "Clearance Sale Area", my toxic-person, this senior cashier, came closer to take a look on what selected items were we putting on sale. I tried to ignore her at first. Then, as she stood up quiet close to me, she suddenly said : (translated from BM) "What smell is this??!! Who wears this terrible perfume??" I kept quiet, but gave her a pandangan mata yang penuh dengan kebencian.
She then came even closer to me, and said "You're the one with that smell! I can't stand perfume nowadays (referring to her pregnancy) My God, your perfume smells terrible" .

So, again, as a gesture to being nice to a pregnant woman, I just smile, even though it's the bitterest of all smiles.

But then, as she moved like a few steps away, I caught it clearly to my ears : she made puking sounds!
I seriously felt like slapping her at that very moment!
Hey! I understand that you're pregnant, but please, it's not an excuse to being rude.

Still in a very bad mood, I later made my way to the office just to find out that on that day, the office was mostly filled up by these guys from Fresh Market. No offense whatsoever, they are my friends, but most of them were seriously smelling like fishes!
Being a good sport, I tolerate the smell, and just sat , quietly, right underneath the air-conditioner waiting for my turn to get on the buyer computers.
Then, one of the Fresh Market guy made one lame, stupid, irritating jokes :
"Jam! Don't sit under the air-cond, you spread your stinks everywhere!"

Damn. As if my day was not awful enough. My smell almost made a pregnant lady puke and now this stinky guy was telling me that I stunk??

I almost think that I made a wrong decision on choosing Olivier Strelli.
Maybe Olivier Strelli smells terrible when mixed with chemical produced naturally by my body.
Shit, I'm such a stinker even an Olivier Strelli can't do me a cover up.
OMG, seriously, Olivier Strelli almost made me cry that day (lagilah apabila memikirkan how much money had that Strelli cost me!)

And in the midst of all laughing, all stinky Fresh Market guys, a friend came to me and said :
"Hey, you don't stink. You always smells nice"

And I choose to believe that friend, rather than a bunch of guys who smell like fishes.

Of Dancing, Singing and The Thoughts of Stealing Things

2009-03-08T11:24:00.015+08:00

Just got back from KL.

KL trip was awesome as always.

Jason Mraz rocks! It's not that I'm a die-hard Jason Mraz's fan. But I do like him.
"You And I Both" is one of my all time favorite song.
I bought his first album back in 2002 or 2003, don't remember the exact year.

* image from wikipedia
Yes, after an extensive state-wide search, I finally could get my hand on this CASSETTE ^
And of course, his latest album is waaaaaaaaaaaay beyond good. It's almost great.
Then, when I finally got the chance to see him perform LIVE, I am now officially MRAZed.

This ticket here worth my every cents spent :

Except for the fact that Stadium Negara might be having some minor ventilation malfunction, and by that I mean Stadium Negara was ridiculously HOT!
Seriously, this was by far the, literally, HOTTEST concert I'd ever been too.

Just look at me and Ms. Y - seriously basah kuyup!

But everyone else, obviously still manage to maintain cun..

The concert started late. Like 1/2 an hour late. And I think it ended a bit too early. He only sang (if my memories served me right..) 'The Remedy' , 'You and I Both' and 'Geek In A Pink' (which was cleverly changed to 'Geek in Your Head' , if my hearing served me right..) from the 2 prior albums.

* All concert pictures courtesy of Missints..because pictures taken by me are horrible beyond words hehe..

Regardless of how overrated had the song "I'm Yours" been to the mainstream (as if konon aku ni beyond mainstream..harhar perasan best!)audience throughout 2008, I do think that the best moment of dancing and singing along in this concert was while he was performing "I'm Yours"

My personal favorite was of course, "You and I Both".

The best song to just dance and set aside the singing was "Butterfly"

The most highly anticipated performance but turned out to be a total-crap-WTF-was-Jason-Mraz-Thinking?? collaboration - LUCKY
Who on earth was that lady she was singing with anyway? Why couldn't he just do the duet with our local songstress? - there's Dayang, or Misha or Sarah or even Shila of OIAM..budak-budak AF pun ramai, which I think would be way better rather than this nyonya she was singing with that night.

But apart from the nightmarish Colbie's substitute performance, Jason Mraz LIVE in KL was a blast. We had great fun. We did our more than fair share of singing and dancing (we could only wish that we had steal things, but we don't)
And here taking a quote overheard by Missints from some 'groupies' at M.Nasir concert held just recently.." Dah lah handsome, pandai main gitar pulak tu.." Harharhar boleh berdarah hidung Jason Mraz jika mendengarnya.

We ended our night with some generous serving of Kopi Cap Tupai at Chawan, in Bangsar.
Whattanight, whattanight.

Movie Magic

2009-02-26T00:32:00.007+08:00

I am still in Oscar mood.
And by that I don't mean that I'm in the mood to put on gorgeous evening gown, getting all blings, walk down the red carpet, pose in front of endless camera flashes and have great after-parties. No, because even if I am so super in the mood for all that I know and you know that it won't happen. Like, mimpilah!

I mean I am in the mood of wanting to watch all the nominated movies, one after another, one after another, one after another and then see if I do agree with the results by the member of the Academy. Yeah, I like to think that I know good movie when I see one. I am so "perasan best" when it comes to judging movies.

So far, I've watched the followings :

1) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - nice, nice very nice. I never imagined Cate Blanchet could be thaaaaaaaaat beautiful! I always see Cate as someone so colorless, but in this movie - ridiculously beautiful. I almost cried when I watch this movie. Almost. Brad and Taraji both deserved their nominations.

2) Burn After Reading - Another Brad Pitt movie and I like this one much, much better. I like this sort of satirically-narrated-tragedy movies. Where good people bumped into bad luck and more bad luck and everything went hairwired and good people still lose in the end. I like that. I find that funny.
And this here is the most ridiculous review of this movie that I've ever read.
The reviewer also made another ridiculous review on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
Dear Mr. Reviewer, your review sucks!

3) Tropic Thunder - Damn funny!

4) The Dark Knight - My favorite movie for 2008, need I say more?

5) Pineapple Express - I don't think this movie got any nominations at the Oscar, but James Franco did get a nomination for Golden Globe and both James Franco and Seth Rogen presented an award at Oscar's night. So, I consider this an Oscar movie. Damn. This movie is fuckin ridiculous, but in a good, funny way. James Franco looks stoned throughout the movie. Seth Rogen looks like he's on some happy pills like always.
*image from yahoo.movies

My friend, Miss Y a.k.a Kawang told me I have quiet a resemblance with Seth Rogen. Hahaha.. I think Seth Rogen is cute and I take that as a compliment. Maybe I should try putting personal ads on dating sites, something that sounds like this :

" A 30 year old free spirited lady, love arts, music and cats.
Looks a lot like Seth Rogan at certain angles"

Sounds appealing? haha..I wonder what type of weirdos would answer such ad. Maybe people would either think that I am hairy or maybe I am the very rare, bearded woman with curly hair and nerdy specs.

6) Slumdog Millionaire - Well deserved winnings. Especially those little kids. They're the one who made this movie so bloody heartfelt. I cried the worst when I watched the blind kid sang. The lead character, Jamal, was a die-hard Amitabh Bachan fan when he was a little kid.

Which reminds me back when I was a little kid, I often went to my aunt's house next door to watch movies on video. Because they happened to be the only closest family of mine who can afford a video player back then. Our selection of videos ranged from P.Ramlee's movies, horror movies, Indon comedy movies (I don't know why, but we seriously watched a lot of these in the 80's!) and Hindi movies, Amitabh Bachan movies mostly!
*image from bizhat.com

So, for me there are 3 most iconic movie stars of my childhood :-
* P.Ramlee
* Benjamin S.
* Amitabh Bachan

There's one particular Hindi movie that I watched a lot when I was a kid, it's not an Amitabh's movie, the lead actor for this movie is another actor named Mithun, if I'm not mistaken.
The title of this movie is DISCO DANCER . Yes, seriously at that time, when watching this movie, becoming a DISCO DANCER appear to be a good career option. I think I can still sing along to most songs in this movie...

"I am a DISCO DANCER...zendaghi mera ghana.."

The movie DISCO DANCER had a very tragic ending : his mom got electrocuted when she touched the Disco Dancer's electric guitar! wakakakakaka...

Aren't movies great? :)

* Ijam Shadan will be watching Milk/ Changeling/ The Wrestler/ Revolutionary Road/ The Reader soon..very,very soon..

You Had Me at 'Hello'

2009-02-19T00:24:00.004+08:00

I tell you, I have the worst just-woke-up voice in the world.
Don't call me too early in the morning. You'll scare the crap out of yourself, as I say 'HELLO'.

Once, one of the clothing supplier I usually liaise with gave me a call much too early in the morning. I said "HELLO!" in a voice so damn terrible, the clothing supplier by the name of Ms.Cindy, immediately hung up.

I figured Ms.Cindy might have thought that my phone had been picked up by the guy I fucked last night.

Once, one of my guy friend from work gave me a call much too early in the morning. I said "HELLO!". He paused and then asked; "Ijam ka ni?"
I said yes, still in a terrible voice. He burst into such hysterical laughter and said; "Astaga! punya pacah ko punya suara pagi-pagi!!"

Seriously, throughout our conversation he couldn't stop laughing and repeatedly saying "Gila, punya bida ko punya suara!"
I took no offense. I even found that funny and laughed along, in my horrible just-woke-up voice.

Once, another guy friend from work gave me a call much too early in the morning. Back in that day there were two people by the name of IJAM at my workplace. The other IJAM is a guy. So this guy friend of mine actually wanted to call the other Ijam but he unintentionally dialled my number instead.

But my voice was so damn horrible, he didn't even notice that he had call the wrong Ijam.

Then, earlier this morning, while I was still fast asleep, and the clock was barely approaching 7.00am, my handphone rang.
Half-awake-half-asleep, I look at the phone screen and saw the caller name.
It was from that guy from work, the one that I mentioned in my last entry, the one with no car and borrowed mine.
WTF was he calling me so early in the morning?

I thought, I don't want this to be another addition to my terrified-caller-of-my-just-woke-up-voice stories. And plus,the prospect of him telling other people at work that 'if you think her car is horrible, you should listen to how she sounds like in the morning'. So, instead of immediately answering the phone, I cleared my throat like 3,4,5 times. I even said "lalalalalalala.." continuously to get my voice reasonably resembling my original voice.

The phone still ringing.

Then, as I felt that my voice was prep enough, I pushed the 'answer' button and say my best possible - "HELLO"
But he was quite. I said "HELLO?" again. Still, no answer.
So, I look at my phone screen.

Damn. "1 missed call"

It's My Car and I Wash It If I Want To

2009-02-08T10:41:00.006+08:00

Last 3 days, I lent my car to a guy friend at work. He's the same guy who's been borrowing my car every now and then when it was his turn to go out for price checking at our competitor's stores. The reason why (of borrowing my car) obviously because he still hasn't got one of his own. And each time that we asked him when is he going to get his own car? (Of course he can afford a car, his paycheck is even a bit higher than mine!)His answer normally revolved around the fact that he still couldn't decide on what car to get.

Then, on Friday, he asked me for a lift home because neither of both his parents were available to pick him up. Since his stop is on my daily drive route, I didn't mind at all to give him the favor. On the way to his place, he then said :
"Banyak betul barang-barang dalam kereta kau ni" , which I think actually translate :
"Punya semak kau punya kereta ni! Kau tidak pernah kemas kah??" Haha..so I asked him to explain more as if I didn't notice how bersepah is my car. He said I had everything in the car from hand sanitizer, to toilet roll (my friend Miss F left that toilet roll in my car!), to baju kurung, work uniform, bath towel (this one is seriously embarrassing),plenty-plenty-plenty of socks, more than one pair of shoes, one selipar jepun right under the gas pedal...and a whole lot more. He joked that from the look of it, I must have been living inside my car. Ouch! shame on me! I just laughed because it is true that my car is in such a mess.

So, as I reached home I kinda spring clean my car, and by that I mean getting out all the unnecessary stuffs that had been nesting inside my car for quiet some times.
I then decide, come Sunday, when I'll be on afternoon shift, I'll take times in the morning to wash my car.

But then, today, as Sunday actually comes, I came to think of this : The shame should be on him, not me!
He is the one with no car. A working adult (a guy some more) who's still being dropped off and picked up by Mom and Dad to work. Shame definitely should be on him.

I am not going to clean and tidy up my car so that he'll feel comfortable the next time he borrowed it. I'll clean my car, when I feel like cleaning it, not under the influence of his comments.
That's why, on this fine Sunday morning, I am here typing this entry instead of washing my car.

Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy, we're friends and I'll lend him my car if he wants to. But if he wanted to borrow a squeaky clean, super tidy car, he just had to wash it himself.

Or maybe, this is just my lame excuse for being plain lazy.hehe...

17 Days of Absence

2009-02-04T23:40:00.010+08:00

My God.
I've been absent for to long.
There were a whole lot of stories to tell in this past 2-3 weeks.
Like :
- Me and friends went to Kundasang on the 23rd of January.
- I drove all the way to Kundasang. Yeeeha! Seriously, with my style of driving that was one hell of an accomplishment.
- My "ticket" to Kundasang cost me RM25, but spending great times with my lovely, lovely friends : Priceless!
*Kawang and Miss F, air-borne in Kundasang
*nice toilet, nice mirror, nice lighting, nice reflections!

- I've purchased a return flight ticket to KL on March 3 for only RM185
-Me and a few good friends are growing so overly fond of the ten-pin bowling, regardless that we're only moderately good at it.
- Even though we're not that good at bowling, but me and Miss L did manage to kick my friend, Mr.A's ass pretty damn good last Tuesday (Mr.A requested for a re-match on Feb 13, tidak dapat menerima kekalahan..)
- I bought a new Samsung 17" LCD monitor for my PC.
- Which cost me RM418, and I seriously hate it! not the monitor, the price tag.
- Oh, I should have first told you that my old PC monitor got stolen. That's explained why I need a new monitor.
- And that also explained why I was abandoning this blog for way too long.
- Kawang's bro help me bought a brand new 2G RAM for this very same pc because the thief who stole my monitor, stole my 1G RAM too
- I watched INKHEART and got tad disappointed. Come on, the girl who plays his daughter should at least be cuter!
- I watched BRIDE WARS, cried a bit, liking it a lot. Nice, nice chick flick.
- My friend at work, Miss M got accepted in a teacher training program on Feb 2nd. Definitely gonna miss her a lot.
- Me and my friend Miss L, are feeling a bit high and dry at our beloved hypermarket.

My God.
Seriously. Plenty, plenty of stories to tell.
I'll tell more stories these coming days.
Gotta stop now. Gotta watch American Idol.

And this new monitor is so fuckin bright. It stings my eyes.

The Song of All Songs

2009-01-18T10:54:00.005+08:00

It's AJL night, tonight.
And I'm going to miss like 1 and 1/2 hours of it, since I'll only be off from work at 10pm the best, maybe 10.05. Add 25 minutes drive from work to home. Damn, I'll be missing a lot.

You see, I'm a firm supporter of our local music industry. I think there are plenty of great Malay songs. Good music has no boundaries for language.
For tonight Anugerah Juara Lagu, I am rooting for Meet Uncle Hussien's Lagu Untukmu and of course, most and foremost I am rooting for FAIZAL TAHIR : both Cuba and Sampai Syurga. At first I thought that Cuba was a sure-win. I fell in like with Cuba the first time I listened to it. But as I listened to Faizal Tahir's 'Aku, Muzik, Kamu' again and again and again, I think Sampai Syurga is the kind of song that grows in you. I think I like Sampai Syurga better right now. But still both songs are good. In fact, almost all of Faizal Tahir's songs are good.

Like on last year's AJL night I posted a video of me butchering the chorus of Faizal Tahir's Mahakarya Cinta, this year I'll post my tribute to Faizal's Sampai Syurga (this video of my fat hand strumming the guitar was recorded using my SE phone last night while watching The Best of Saturday Night Live, and I was still in my work uniform)

So, even if you hate this song or hate my dreadful singing, I really hope this song will win big tonight. If Cuba wins, I won't be dissapointed either :)

A Review on The Second Movie I watched in 2009

2009-01-13T23:43:00.009+08:00

My friend Miss F told me that she walked out of the cinema after merely 15 minutes of watching THE SPIRIT

Based on Miss F facial expression on the mentioned of the movie title, there's one perfect word for Miss F to sum up the entire movie : UNBEARABLE

And so I thought, there's no way THE SPIRIT could be that bad!
For a starter, the movie featured two major babes : Eva Mendes and Scarlett Johansson.
Too add to the great combo : Samuel L. Jackson as the megalomaniac, mad genius villain.
So what if I don't even know who on earth is that guy who plays The Spirit,there's Eva and there's Scarlet and of course,there's Mr. Jackson ; there's no way THE SPIRIT could be that bad!

So, on January 9, regardless of the bad review from Miss F and her friend and Kawang's sis, I went to watch that movie.
*image from Wikipedia

I made no mistake, hell yeah this movie is awesome!
Miss F, you know I love you but I really have to disagree with you on this one hehe.. (come to think of it, actually me and Miss F have a very distinct contradictory movies preference..)
Well ok, the first 15-20 minutes of this movie was a bit slow. Just a bit. Other than that it was funny, smart and entertaining.
Octopus, Floss and the super dumb clone baldies made up a great gang of bandits.
And the guy who plays The Spirit, he's playing The Spirit very, very well.
I don't care if this movie got quiet plenty of terrible splats on rotten tomatoes.com, I still like it. Very,very much. Ijam Shadan digs The Spirit.

5 out of 5 stars for the villains.

5 out of 5 stars for the babes.

4 out of 5 stars for the almost monochromatic color schemes (it gets a bit too dark sometimes..this is not good if you're planning to watch this on pirated DVD)

Overall, 4 out of 5 stars.
Highly recommended.

A New Year's Wish Six Days Too Late

2009-01-06T22:56:00.013+08:00

Happy belated New Year.
No such bullshit as belated New Year, right?
Afterall the year is still brand new.
2009 has only been 6 days old.
So, to all my frequent readers and those who are unfortunate enough to have stumbled upon this crappaty-crappaty-crap writings in this blog of mine...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!

How do I sum up my 2008? Not so bad. Not so great either. But indeed, fairly good.
2008 was not the best year of my life, but still there were some great things that took place in 2008. Here's my list on my bestest highs in 2008 :

1) On March 16, I met Brandon Boyd.

Well, okay I exaggerated on this. But it's true that I did stood on front row, center, pressed to the fence, surviving the craziest mosh pit I'd ever been in, fuel by adrenalin, jumping ups and downs while singing along and trying hard to take some picture at the same time (the pics and videos are awful! haha..blame it on my unsteady hands and the fact that I don't have the 'eye' for photography!) witnessing one of my favorite band rocking the stage : yes, my friends, it was the great INCUBUS on stage, and I was there!! wooooohhoooo!

2) I Watched JUNO, my favorite movie for 2008

Every words spoken or sang in JUNO are like tailor-made to my likings. Diablo Cody the one responsible for the wittiest script ever, the living proof that you can achieved greatness on first attempt. A true inspiration. And Kimya Dawson, the one responsible for most of the feel good songs in JUNO, I just love her..her music, her lyrics, her hair, her humble stage present..the JUNO soundtracks are definitely one of my happy pills

JUNO is definitely the best movie I've watched in 2008. And of course,the DARK KNIGHT. Both JUNO and DARK KNIGHT are number 1 in my list for the best movie in 2008.

3) On August 20, I turned 30!

Yippeee! I'm old, I'm still healthy and very much alive and happy. And that's about it (ndak jugak lah happy betul sebenarnya..haha..)

4) Even with my cukup-cukup makan paycheck, I managed to go holidaying twice!

By holidaying I mean flying over to KL and crash at Kawang's crib at Pandan Indah. The first trip was on March, to go catch Incubus. The second time around was on November, just a short trip together with my friend Miss A. We went to Genting, for a late-nite-almost-morning escalator ride and we went to Aquaria to marvel at some big fishes. It's not the destinations or what you do at the destinations, it's the matter of who you're doing it with. Yeah, baby..thanks for another year of friendship, friends!

Miss A : Murid-murid..ini adalah ikan piranha yg ganas..

5) My Mom selamat menunaikan ibadah haji

Syukur Alhamdulillah. I hope I'll be a better daughter this year. For sure I can't change drastically, I'll definitely still make mistake, I'll still be the same old stubborn me. I just hope that in all my right or wrong doings all through this year ahead, I'll appreciate her more, love her more and try not to hurt her feelings as much as I've done in my 30 years of being her daughter.
I love you, mak!

6) My friend Miss C got engaged!

Miss C is one of my closest friend from work. Yes, the engagement reception was not like your conventional Malay receptions. Somehow our BIG BOSS who're there to make the rendezvous merrier really took the challenge literally and changed the engagement reception into a competitive drinking showdown.
* Miss C in the blue kebaya

Despite for the fact that the Big Boss really taking over the party, we're all happy for Miss C. Looking forward for the 'garden wedding'(probably this year?)

7) And a 'Great' party to end the year with..
My friend Miss F had been kind enough to be the host for our (some sort of) pot-luck New Year's party. It's a small , by invitation only party or shall I say, just a simple get-together. Miss F and her housemates cook, Miss A kononnya would bring some sandwiches and I would get some snacks and drinks straight from work.
The best part was, Miss F was estimating that 15 persons would show up. I forgot to informed Miss F that my friends from work won't be able to come. So as the results for cooking for 15 persons, just look at the food that the 6 of us had to finish :

* and there's still plenty in the kuali!
**and I bought a big plastic bag of keropoks, chocolate, peanuts and bread (intended for Miss A, D.I.Y sandwiches)

So we scrolled down the list of name in our handphone's phonebook, looking for names with potential to have nothing plans on new year's eve. Damn, we don't have much friends (Hey! but we do have each other kan, why bother?) Nasib baik my friend Mdm L and family who're staying all the way in Telipok were free enough to come and shared our feast. Then Miss F also asked her brother to come and tapau some food so it won't get wasted.
At the very end, everyone was happy. And we managed to watch like 15 minutes of fireworks display in the night sky, right from Miss F kitchen balcony.
Oh, what a year. And what a nice company of friends to share the year ends with.

*Miss F and Miss A with their year end pose

We continued our party with more eating and drinking, and cards reading courtesy of, yours truly, Ijam;the infamous dukun santet, and more silly jokes and even sillier cards reading and of course watching my all time favorite movie on tv :- see how my friends couldn't take their eyes of the tube..

* from R-L : Giants plastic bag, Mr J (Mdm L husband), Mdm L, Miss A and Miss F

Can you guess what great movie was on?
.....Tadaaa!

It's SENIMAN BUJANG LAPOK! couldn't ask for anything better.

Wow..I think this is like my longest entry ever. And I also think, the entry with the most pictures. This is what happened if your internet line went kaput for a week. Once you have it back, you couldn't stop typing. Too many stories inside my head in needs to be blurted out.

So, until my next entry, I hope you enjoy reading this. I hope your New Year's party was a blast. I hope your 2009 will be twice as great as 2008. I hope you'll find plenty of whatever it is that makes you happy.

A Short Story of Encountering Bastards In A Nyonya Restaurant

2008-12-27T00:50:00.006+08:00

Some men are just bastards.
Plain ol' rude bastards.

You see, as nature intended, the so-below-average-looking yours truly here are surrounded with beautiful, beautiful friends. Seriously, my girlfriends are mostly way surpassing good looking (gorgeous girlfriends, you know who you are! :D)

I have gorgeous girlfriends who are so in fashion they look like they should be in the 'Sex And The City' spin off series.

I have gorgeous girlfriends who are gorgeously bless with supermodel build and long legs that went on forever.

I have gorgeous girlfriends who can still turned heads even now that they're married with children.

This is fact, not fiction. This assessment of mine regarding the physical appearance of my friends are not at all clouded by the fact that I am ugly therefore all other things around me appear to be pleasant. They're all factually pretty.

So back to the topic of some men are nothing but absolute bastards, having a gorgeous girlfriends around you is like having a good radar of detecting incoming bastards.
For instance, like what happened earlier tonight, and this was not the first time I've encountered such scenario. Here's how the story went :

The scene took place at a Nyonya restaurant next to Krishna Curry House, somewhere in Penampang. Me and the ever so pretty Miss A was trying to have a decent meal while waiting for my 2 other beautiful friends, Miss F and Mdm Z to come over to join us for pool.

The restaurant was pretty cramped with customers so we had to sit on a small two sitters table next to this table where a group of near-middle-age guys were seated, and they appeared to be almost finish with their food.
Because the place is so sesak, I couldn't pull my chair out without Miss A pulling the table more to her side.

But as Miss A trying to get to her seat, these guys (who later happened to be bastards) started wooing Miss A, with terrible jokes and one stupid question after another without even noticing that Miss A was actually in a company of another person that was ME.

Repeatedly I asked Miss A to pull the table more to her side so I can pull my chair out, but the restaurant was too noisy (and the rain that night helped too) and these bastards were relentlessly harassing Miss A for her attention, so I was left there just a few inches away from them, standing like a fool because I appear to be a fatso who can't get into her seat.

Luckily the fella who sat right behind me pull his chair in a bit more, giving me space to pull out my chair and finally sat down.
The next table bastards doubled up their effort as we're already seated. Trying harder to get friendly with Miss A.

"Where from?"
"Where do you work?"
"First time here?"
"Are you Sabahan"

Blah,blah,blah so on and so forth. Question after question, as if Miss A was dining alone.

The ultimate sign of detecting bastards : Whenever I'm with my beautiful friends, bastards won't even notice that I am there.

Don't get me wrong : I do not hope that these bastards would include me in their conversations. Nor that I am envious that my friends are getting all the attention.
Not at all!

But please, respect the fact that this beautiful person you try to woo is there with somebody else.
Please respect other people space and time.
Yes, you can choose to acknowledge the pretty one and simply disregard her ugly friend, but the non-bastards should know a more civilized way to do it.

We ended up tapau our food, and ate the char kuey tiaw at the pool place.
The three bastards from the Nyonya restaurant seriously got into my nerves, seriously spoiled my mood.

But then again, thank God for my 3 beautiful friends and some good games of pool (3 wins out of 4, ok what!), I'm back on my happy feet.

I love you all, beautiful girlfriends.
I just hate how those bastards make me felt like this sometimes ->>
*a postcard from postsecret

So, I wish for all you insensitive,stupid,motherfuckin bastards out there, the best motherfuckin days of your life and may you find the best motherfuckin bitches who suits you best so you can scratch each other itches, and feed each other stupidity.

And stay away from my friends.

All The Cheap T-shirts Money Can Buy

2008-12-21T00:40:00.012+08:00

I am proud that I am 'cheap'.
Not 'cheap' as in 'easy', or any other translation that equates me being a major bitch or anything close to it.
I mean I am very low-maintenance.

1) I don't require expensive clothing.

2) I don't require expensive make-up (Lip gloss and chapstick and that's it. And most of the time the lip gloss was not even fully consumed when it reached its expiry date!)

3) I don't require expensive shoes. (I bought like 3 Adidas, 2 Vans, 1 Converse sneakers throughout my lifetime, and by lifetime I meant from when I was 18 until now. All my other sneakers are the cikai-cikai brand that priced mostly around RM20 - RM40. Ladies shoes/ sandals? none exceeding RM40. Oh, and I had plenty, plenty, plenty of flip-flop a.k.a Selipar Jepun. Price ranged between RM1.99 - RM19.99)

4) I almost, don't require handbags at all!

5) I bought expensive perfume every once in a while. I cilok my sister's expensive perfume every now and then. Haha!
* the most expensive bottle I've ever purchased with my own money. Available at http://www.esteelauder.com/

6) I don't go to spa/ any fancy massage therapy/ manicure,pedicure/ hair salon etc, etc (I don't like to be touched by strangers)

I think I spent most of my paychecks on eating out (somehow, I like to eat fancy..), music CD's (original or pirated), pirated DVDs and movie tickets and a lot of untraceable crap holes spending.

Concerning clothing, as I have earlier mentioned from my past,past entries, I'm a big fan of wacky t-shirts.
T-shirts with bold prints.
I like juvenile-looking t-shirts.
I dig t-shirts worn by those guys from MIAMI INK.
*Miami Ink official site click here
See that guy third from left? his name is Ami James, and I like that t-shirt of his very, very much. And that guy next to him, Chris Nunez, I like the t-shirt he's wearing too.

Thank God for F.O.S*, my tees are easy to get and of course, reasonably cheap.
The most expensive t-shirt I bought from F.O.S cost me like RM35.
And my current favorite t-shirts (apart from my tuxedo t-shirts) are..

my OBEY t-shirts! I have three OBEYs right now. Each priced at RM30. Cheap, kan?
And just earlier tonight when I found out on how this OBEY clothing line started, I think I'm loving my OBEY t-shirts even more (I also felt like an ignorant faker for being a self-professed OBEY enthusiast when I don't even know that the artist behind the tees create waaaay bigger masterpieces than just some prints on my t-shirt)

However, my thanks to Mr. Shepard Fairey for creating such impressive artworks.
I hope this one here will arrived at F.O.S very,very soon :

*image from www.obeyclothing.com

Nice, eh?

So, to sum this all up, I am thankful that I am 'cheap', I am thankful for my bad fashion sense, I am thankful that I can afford my life, I am thankful that eventhough I'm fat I still can fit into my OBEY t-shirts in size L.

Oh, and I am thankful for F.O.S

*In Kota Kinabalu F.O.S can be found at Warisan Square and 1Borneo. In KL and PJ F.O.S are almost everywhere.

Lend Me Some Sugar, I am Your Neighbour!

2008-12-16T02:00:00.004+08:00

I was doing laundry just now.
I am actually still doing laundry. The washer is now on spin mode.
I'm doing laundry because :
1) I can't sleep
2) Just realized that I ran out of uniform to be worn to work tomorrow.

But, doing laundry is not the main point of my ranting in this late nite entry.
Doing laundry is just the 'passage' in which I am going through when I stumbled upon this fact that I strongly feel I should blog about.

Here goes:
My dirty laundry was already inside the washing machine, water was pouring in and as I turned to grab the washing detergent on the place where my washing detergent was always kept, only then did I noticed that the plastic jar containing my washing detergent WAS NOT THERE!

Then I remembered, like 3-4 days back a certain relative 'borrowed' the detergent due to an emergency case of detergent shortage, which I think was no big deal and so we lend them the jar, entirely.
I think that I made it very clear that the half full detergent jar needs to be returned after used.

Did the action of lending the jar translates that they should finished the detergent entirely before returning the empty container?

What is it with people who don't respect the No.1 basic rule of BORROWING things :
"Thou shalt return the borrowed things back!"
"KASI BALIK!"
What so damn hard about that???

So what if I do have spare detergent stored? I want my detergent in my plastic jar with my plastic measuring spoon in it. The plastic jar is my privilege. The measuring spoon is my privilege.

I tried to avoid lending my stuff to people with great reputation of not returning the stuff back.

Like this one person from work who borrowed my books, my comics, my CLEO magazines and never bothered to give them back. Even after me asking her ;
"Where's my book/comic/magazine you borrowed last week/last month/last year?"
She would answer without the slightest sign of guilt, saying ;
"Not sure. Maybe at home, maybe in my car, maybe my sister may have borrowed it"
The most surprising fact is, almost every month she would continuously asking me ;
"Have you bought the new CLEO? bought any new books? comics? lend me some!"

I stopped lending her anything. Never, ever.
Me not lending her anything is for me, the only way for us to remain friends.
Like last week, she was in my car and was eying my Ari Lasso CD, and wonder if she could borrow it for a while.
Yaaaay! Macam mau ku telan sja CD tu supaya hilang dari pandangan!
So I made an excuse that I was then in a full swing mood for Malay/ Indo songs that I need to listen to Ari Lasso super extensively.

You see, I'm not a bad person. I'm not stingy, kedekut, berkira, whatever you might called it. But please, if you do not intend to return them, don't even think of borrowing my things.
It's a simple principle : you borrowed things, you return them back.

Respect other people effort of owning things.

What is mine, is obviously not yours.

Constant borrowings are thefts.

Apa lagi kau mau ni, Pakcik??

2008-12-11T23:35:00.008+08:00

Sometimes customers at the hyperstore where I work at asked for very stupid, stupid, stupid things.

For instance, last Wednesday there's this one very fussy Pakcik who had been hassling me and my friend with lots of very detailed and thorough questions about a RM7.99, 4 gallons pail and a mop which I didn't even remember cost how much.

Done, but with very unsatisfied look in his face, this Pakcik then threw the Big Kahuna of all stupid questions :

"Kamu ada kah jual benda kuning-kuning yang ada dalam tandas?"
( "Do you sell the yellowish stuff usually found in toilet?")

Macam mau sja aku jawap :

"Apa Pakcik? Kau mau beli taik?"

But since I'm always a sweetheart, politely, with a smile, I answered :

"Pewangi , sabun* tandas semua di Lorong 8, Pakcik"

*Assuming that the Pakcik was looking for the yellow toilet deodorizer.
(Entah-entah mimang kali Pakcik tu mau beli taik..)

Right, I Am Wrong

2008-12-09T00:48:00.007+08:00

I am suddenly in deep thought of something.

I did not intend to update my blog tonight.

I did not even intend to turn the computer on tonight.

But that deep thought has been building up since I first thought of it yesterday afternoon.

I suddenly feel that I need to type it down before it gone lost in time or from broken chain of thoughts.

I need to type it down while I still have guts to do so.

I need to type it down while I still feel that it is necessary to be typed down.

Should I be direct?

Or discreet?

Or get it encrypts?

The hesitation on writing these thoughts down are not caused by shame. Or by guilt.

But mainly because of the anger that came from misinterpreting this particular thought for so many years.

I am angry.
Or am I?
Is angry the right, most appropriate word to describe this feeling that is triggered by this sudden, stupid thought that I'm having?

I was WRONG.
I wasn't at all RIGHT
My deep thought revolved on how WRONG had I assumed of so many things around me in my 30 years of roaming planet earth.

I was wrong, but not because I was stupid.

I was wrong, but not because everyone else were stupid.

I was wrong because regardless of how heavily I fed on pessimism and constant negativity, I still kept this microscopic hope that someday, somehow, some things will at least go my way .

I was wrong because I knew well how the universe works, but I still hope that sometimes, when it comes to me, nature would somehow makes exception and changes it course.

I was wrong because I hope that nice guy or girl (yes, I am nice and if you don't think so, go fuck off and die!) won't always finished last.

Bottom line is, I am now done with keeping hope.
Hope is nothing but placebo :
It kept you well until one day you find out how worthless it is.

You're not one unique snowflake.
You're merely a speck of ice, in a mountain of snow.
Live with it!

Home Before Midnite : Not A Cinderella Story

2008-12-06T00:05:00.005+08:00

I am so uninspired to write.
Had a lot f blog-worthy goings this past few days, but none so far had triggered my head to tell my fingers to type onto the keyboard and put them into words.

Like this picture here..
was taken last Tuesday.
It was my friend, Mdm Z, birthday. Or to be exact, 30th birthday.

Me and these three ladies here, have known each other since we're 13.

Now we're celebrating 30th birthday together.

We're the living proof that friendship can last the test of time. Or maybe we're just plain lousy at making new friends.

And so we went out for dinner. Nothing fancy. Just some nice food and a not-so-nice vanilla milkshake and a yam-cheese cake to go with it.
But overall, the girls nite out was fun.
Regardless that we had to get back home early and had to missed the preliminary plan of going to shoot some pool after dinner.
Kau tau la sudah tua-tua ni...banyak gia urusan di rumah
So, myself and Miss A, the only two's with no particular attachment, were left with no idea of where we should be heading now that the two other girlfriends were going back to their 'nests' respectively.
Since Miss A don't play pool.
And no good movies (that we haven't watched) were screening after 10.
And bowling didn't sounds fun at that particular hour.
And we're boring people : we don't club. We don't drink. We don't smoke weeds.
At the very end, we're left with nothing to do but to go back home.
Yes, just a few minutes past 10pm, we're heading home.
Even worse than Cinderella. As if my white Kenari is going to turn into pumpkin by midnite!

ARE WE EVOLVING FROM BORING TO SUPER BORING??
That's why Miss A 'urges' are building up! (Miss A, this statement is published with your consent aa..)

Maybe we too should find ourselves a nice, cozy 'nest' to fly home to. Hahahaha next year lah, Miss A..macam?

Viva La Vida!

2008-11-27T00:44:00.006+08:00

Finally, after 6 days internet broadband ku yang celaka ini akhirnya bernyawa semula.

I was thinking about posting stories of my recent trip to KL. But after 6 days, I think those stories kinda reached its expiry date.
But still, I don't really have a fresh, hot story to tell.

So, you may find this entry here quite boring and so you can stop reading like right NOW.
But if you decide to continue all I wanna let you know that I am now still extensively listening to Coldplay's VIVA LA VIDA. *image from Wikipedia.org
And the reason why? on my recent visit to KL we kinda listened to this song plenty,plenty of times - in the bedroom, turned the volume up so I can listened to it when I was in the bathroom, and one of the most played track in Kawang's car.
Well, there's actually another song that we listened to and sang together a lot on the last visit to KL - LUCKY by Jason Mraz an Colbie Callet/Calleit/Colleit?? (how to spell her name?!)

I still like that song LUCKY, super sweet but more than ok. And you know sweet things are meant to be consumed sparingly. Listened to it too much, it will make your ears bleed.

VIVA LA VIDA is a whole different story. It kinda scares me sometimes because I'm not so sure about what the lyrics really meant. If you not familiar with the song VIVA LA VIDA, go and search for the lyrics and you may find a lot of Christianity element in it. But it's not like up to the point of memesongkan your Akidah or anything. It doesn't get banned on national radio or get muted off like "I Kiss ******* , I Like it (I find this censorship super stupid!) or get officially prohibited like Yoga. So, it should be ok, right?

VIVA LA VIDA sounds like a war chant. Or more like a chant for those who had just lost the war. I like. And I like Coldplay. And of course I like Chris Martin. I like Chris Martin especially in this hairdo :
*image from okmagazine.com.au
Back in KL, back when we were in Kawang's car on our way to Aquaria (I think). We were singing VIVA LA VIDA again and again and again (so perasan best! haha..). Then the most interesting part of the singing happened; we then noticed the lovely Miss A who was at the back seat was "La la la la la la" ing together as we hit the chorus. Ah..we felt like Gwyneth Paltrow was singing back-up with us in a high-pitched voice. No offense, lah Miss A hehe.. we know we all dig Coldplay. Me and Miss A may have a totally opposite musical preference but we're on the same page when it comes to Coldplay.

So, altogether now for Miss A, sing! (in falsetto, please) :
"La la lalalala la lala,
La la lalalala la lala,
La la lalalala la la,
La la la lalala lala,
La la la lalaaaa,
La la la la lala..."
(*sing to the tune of VIVA LA VIDA chorus)

Ijam In Tux?

2008-11-19T00:30:00.006+08:00

Just got back from my 4 days, 4 nights unplanned trip to Kuala Lumpur.
Not totally unplanned. But the idea of going to KL came about almost spontaneously like earlier this month, bought the flight ticket on November 9th, and on November 15 I was already crashing on my friend, Kawang's couch in Pandan Indah.

I do missed KL every now and then.
I missed my friends in KL, to be exact.

4 days and 4 nights made a whole lot of stories to tell. But since my right ear is still 'berdengung' from the 2 and 1/2 hours flight (seriously! I thought I was going to die..you've heard about how buzzing ears relate to dying, sure, right? and my right ear was buzzing super painfully!)I think I have to postpone the much elaborate stories on my next entry.

So, for now I just wanted to tell everyone that while in KL, I bought this.. TAAADAAA..!

Yes, my friends, I bought what every fashion crime offender should own; the legendary Tuxedo t-shirt. Yeeehaa! I like.
I bought 2 of them, in black and white.
Maybe I was in 007 mood.
Well, okay, not really.
I love wacky t-shirts, no further explanation.

I'd love to own another one, with red bow, like this one here :

Got to stop now, my ear's fuckin killing me.

I Don't Have Title For This One

2008-11-13T02:12:00.004+08:00

There're plenty, plenty of goings this past few days.

Bad goings.

Good goings.

My mom, my next door aunt and uncle gone for the Haj pilgrimage.

Send them to the airport, nearly full parking lots, parked at illegal spots (together with like dozens of other cars), stupid policeman SAMAN my car.

One of my best friend at work got engaged.

Went to the engagement dinner which later turned out to be an engagement party..and called me old fashioned, called me conservative but this is not actually the kind of party I would like to engage myself into.

Lost my wallet (accidentally dropped it when I was at the airport sending my sis off to a super-early in the morning flight)

Found the wallet back in less than 5 hours (It happened that a police officer found it and surrendered it to KKIA police station)

What can I say, the goings are all in Yin and Yang.
I feel like I have a lot to say, but I seriously don't have a clue on how to say it.
Like having a clump of peanut butter shoved down your throat.

Maybe I should write about peanut butter.
And how much I like it melting on waffle.
I also like peanut butter on Biskut Kering Cap Ping Pong.
And of course on toasted, slightly burnt white bread.

I should sleep.
Like right now.

"My Friend Went To Tawau And All I Got is A Packet of Amplang"

2008-11-07T02:23:00.016+08:00

The problem about being away for too long is that I am now finding a really difficult time on where, how, what to begin my story with.

so, okay.

I was away. I was in Tawau, for three weeks. A new hyperstore was opening up, and myself, was one of the 'lucky' one selected to be part of the team to set the whole store up. I mean, the building is already there, but it was dead empty. Our job was to change the empty lot into a fully functional hypermarket. Our job was to change this..

into this..
All done in less than three weeks.
I thought at first that the Tawau experience was gonna be hellish.
It turned out okay.
I can even say that it was actually fun.
And me and my friend Miss L were addicted to playing this :
*Available at Sports and Outdoor Dept. for about 300 bucks.
And when we get bored at the selling floor area, we killed time at storage area..

You see, we're like those 'losers' who're often portrayed in tv series like Malcolm in The Middle, Drew Carrey Show, Reaper, Chuck, Still Standing..and movies like Employee of The Month (I like this one a lot!), 40 Year Old Virgin..what else..? I can't remember what else..but I know there's plenty. Because in movies or tv series, when it comes to a dead end jobs and people with no future, it'll always be working in retail, or waitressing. Right or not?

But what the heck, losers or no losers, the best way to keep this job fun and tolerable, is by not taking it too seriously.
You see, if my work life is a movie the genre would most likely be comedy.
If it's a tv series, definitely would be a sitcom.
Or maybe a murder mystery like in CSI.
Or maybe a special feature episode in Heroes.

I started to talk crap.
Lets talk back about Tawau.

There're TWO (2) things that I don't fancy much about Tawau :

1)The food, the kedai makan to be exact.
2) The way the people drives

No offense to 'orang-orang Tawau', but seriously, I think most of the waiters and waitresses at eateries in Tawau need a serious teaching of customer service.
Once, when we were at one of the kedai makan, and one of my friend was kinda waving the waitress there to take orders, the waitress simply yelled back in an angry tone "Nanti dulu bah orang banyak kerja!"
Ini boleh menimbulkan marah ni.
And some more, the services were commonly late. We'd even experienced some eateries that took close to two hours to complete our orders. Sabar sja lah!

When it comes to the taste of the food..hmm..I'm not even sure on what to say. Let just say I only dig their TEMPE. I ate tempe almost everyday while in Tawau. And this picture below was probably the worst tasting meatball soup I've ever tasted my whole life :

*Available at Tawau Airport, for RM6 per bowl. Cutthroat!

Drivers in Tawau are super aggressive, a lot like drivers in KL.
One good example of the proud and aggressive Tawau driver, was our van driver who drove us daily from the hotel to our workplace.
We called him GURU
That's because he called everyone elses GURU
Guru drove a striking fuchsia colored van, with only one headlight.
Guru like to run over red lights. He said "Ish lampu ni! Orang masih mau jalan!", and sped up even more.
Guru didn't honk. He preferred to roll down the window and put out his head and scream "ANJING!" at other cars that annoyed him.
Guru was dangerous, but Guru was also so funny and was one of our source of entertainment back then in Tawau.

On October 23, the Tawau hypermarket kicked start its business.
And OMG, the 'makcik-makcik' who shopped on the opening day were almost looking like they were possessed.Literally shopping till they drop. Literally there're people who fell and get stepped on. Mengganas, bikin takut!
At the end of the day, Tawau store opening was a SUCCESS. Set a new record for the opening day sales. And these are the people who made it all possible :
*The GMS team, the Big butnotso Big Boss -third from the left

*Here, together with buda'-buda' Tawau..

We left Tawau on the 28 of October.
I hate saying goodbye. I have strong tendency of breaking into tears when I left people, place, things that I started to getting used to, behind.
I hate when proximity infatuation started to kick in.

But again, infatuations washed off pretty easily.
I am home. And I am happy.
Moderately happy. But still happy.

Flight Of The Albino Brinjal (Episode 2)

2008-10-06T00:09:00.010+08:00

We then proceed to Miss Ate's house, like around 12.15.

Which means I only have 15 minutes before I had to make my move for work (ah!Tidakk!)
Being a good friends Kawang, Ate' and Kak Leng all encouraged me to go get an MC.
Which then reminded me that I do need to go see a doctor.
Like 2-3 days before Hari Raya, my left foot hurts. Like hell it hurts!
To be exact, the aching spot was on top of my left heel, close to the ankle.
I kinda neglected the pain, but then on the first day of Hari Raya when we went to ziarah the tanah perkuburan , way up on some hill in Inanam, my left foot somehow got a bit tergeliat and the pain seemed to get worse and worse. On the 4th day of Hari Raya, while we're sitting at Ate's we had all agree that I do need medical treatment because the spot on the top of my left heel was obviously SWOLLEN.

So, again as faith intended, I called my boss and told her that it looks like I'm about to extend my Hari Raya holiday. My boss said fine, but do give her the MC cert as soon as possible.
Haha no worries!

When Kak Leng and family left Ate's house at around 1-1.30pm, me and Kawang decided to extend our visit at Ate's. Ate' suggests that it's better if we hang around first, rehat-rehat in her room, order some pizza..then only we go to the clinic.
Without hesitation, both me and Kawang agreed.
We lepak at Ate's bedroom and continued our admiration to the Albino Brinjal :
*No, we're no perverts! but don't you think that the Albino Brinjal's super amazing??

Then the pizzas arrived and we're gobbling it down in front of the TV while watching the oh-so-dreadful Australia Next Top Model.
*Pizzas gone in, like 30 minutes..

Because me and Kawang and Ate' alike, are all compulsive procrastinator, we successfully procrastinated our day and only left for the clinic like around 4.00pm when the rain was already pouring like waterfalls.

Went to a clinic in KK. Have I ever told you that I hate to see doctors? well, hate is not the exact word, more like SCARED to see a doctor.
The doctor I met that day was a lady doctor. Indian, in her mid 50s I think. Very nice doctor. I told her my story about the swollen foot. Then she examined both my feet, and from the look in her face I realized she noticed that I have a slightly shorter right foot.
So, without her asking first, I told her that, yes my right foot is shorter, I broke it when I was 13.
She said that I'd been putting extra work to my left foot. Since the right foot is shorter, I tend to put more weight to the left foot. If the swelling was on the back, top of my heel it's unlikely (or was her word 'impossible'?)that it was sprained.
She asked me next time to not neglect the pain, and the best 'pesanan' was :
"Girl, LOSE SOME WEIGHT!"
Hahahahhahaa...looks like memang kena diet lah after this.
I told her that I'm going for one month out station to Tawau starting this Monday, and wonder if she could give MC so I can at least, rest the sore foot.
The generous doctor gave me two days MC. Yeeehhaaa!

After clinic, we went straight (well not actually 'straight', we stopped by at Watson's next to the clinic,and we think that the pharmacist who's in charge there is actually our high school senior, we remember the face but forget the name. Then Kawang got to go back inside the clinic for some last minute, urgent nature calls..) to the Filipino Market to repair MissInts pearl necklace. Managed to snap some pictures while waiting for the necklace.. :

Maybe we got so excited taking pictures and everything, Kawang accidentally broke her own specs..

The next stop was 1Borneo, because Miss Ate's wanted to buy the iPod touch she's been drooling for weeks. With my sore foot, we hurried our way through the super shiny, slightly slippery 1Borneo tiles. It was already around 8.30pm if I'm not mistaken.
The Apple fellas, at the Apple Shop gave bad news that the latest model for the iPod Touch has not arrived yet. So, no iPod for Miss Ate's that night.

Last stop for the day : dinner at New York!New York!.
Since we're always berangan about going to New York, so lets take a faaaar glimpse to the real thing hehe..
The food was not bad. Not bad at all.

The ambiance is also very, very nice. Except for the group of people sitting next to our table, who were constantly stealing stares at us. Ate' said 'looking at us as if we have no money!' But afterall, New York!New York! is a reasonably good place to eat.

*Damn! I look so fat! Ok,ok nice lady doctor, I'll lose weight!

October 4th was a long, long day.
One long, exciting, unexpected, fun day.
We all parted at around 10-10.15pm that night.
Kawang will be going back to KL on Monday.
I'll be going to Tawau on Monday.
Ate' will be off to work (that she hates ;P) on Monday.
I'm gonna miss you guys..(ceh! seperti penuh emosi plak!)

The next day, which was Oct 5th, me with the family went beraya to KB and we managed to stopped by at Kawang's house. And guess what, Kawang had 'consummate' her episode with the Albino Brinjal, by cooking it to perfection and ate it! hahaha..you go Kawang! (No image available. All brinjals had been well consumed..tinggal biji ja atas piring!)

So, dear readers, this blog will be temporarily un-updated until I get my ass back here in KK.
Until then, wish you all well. And..

Hopefully Tawau will treat me kind.

Flight of The Albino Brinjal : A Hari Raya Story (Episode 1)

2008-10-05T22:29:00.007+08:00

So, here's how we came about the ALBINO BRINJAL.

It was the 4th day of Hari Raya.
My friend Kawang slept over at my house the night before.
We planned to wake up early, like around 9.00am or 10.00am to go beraya at Miss Ate''s house.
We planned to beraya early because I was suppose to start work on that day and supposed to clock in at 1.00pm.

But, as faith intended, we woke up at around 10.30am and being a compulsive procrastinator, both me and Kawang alike, we left for Ate's home at almost noon.

There's another friend who're to join us for the beraya plan. Kak Leng our another friend, with her husband and son, according to the original plan was supposed to wait up for us at Shell Kg. Likas.
Me and Kawang went with separate cars since later I was suppose to go to work and Kawang was suppose to went straight back to her hometown, KB.

As we're heading to Shell Kg. Likas, Kak Leng text us to say that she still have some thing to deal with at home and might take a little while before she could make her move to Shell Kg Likas. Kak Leng stays at Telipok, like 10-15km from Shell Kg Likas.

So, thinking that we still have plenty of time to spare, me and Kawang decided to go to Inanam town to look for some 'barang baik' that was usually available in Inanam (what's the 'barang baik', you dont have to know but I can assure you that it's legal!)
Our search for 'barang baik' was not fruitful. Turned out that the barang was not that baik. On our way back to where our cars were park we bumped into this :

BEHOLD! It's the Albino Brinjal!!
Yaaay! Brinjal, eggplant whatever you called it are supposed to be PURPLE. Not WHITE. Check out this visual comparison :

Thanks to the Makcik in yellow t-shirt on the background, this picture looked like it was taken at Angola or African country yang sewaktu dengannya instead of my hometown, Inanam..hehe
The Makcik did play some part to our story. Because we're so amazed with the white brinjal, we kept asking the other Makcik who was selling the brinjals 'why, makcik? why? why???' . The Makcik was sitting on a plastic stool with both her hands on her forehead. She was answering our questions in a weak mumbles, like she was in pain, but because we're sometimes experiencing temporary, uncontrollable stupidity we kept harassing the Makcik with questions on how come the brinjal is white? Disregarding the Makcik, we then went on with our picture snapping session.

Enter the Makcik in yellow t-shirt.

Makcik Yellow-T rushed to the Makcik-in-pain side. We're still taking picture. Makcik Yellow-T said to Makcik-in-pain (something like this) :
"Kalau kau pening betul, kau baring lah dulu"
We're still taking pictures. But we're now aware that Makcik-in-pain is seriously in pain, because as we turned to look at her, the Makcik-in-pain was already lying PENGSAN on the road (with a pink plastic bag in her hand)!!

Makcik Yellow-T took over the business transaction. Kawang gave her RM1 for the albino brinjal and then Kawang asked for a plastic bag. Makcik Yellow-t pull out a new pink plastic bag. My eyes were on the pink plastic bag that's already in Makcik-in-pain's hand, but I didn't have the heart to tell Makcik Tellow-T to just pull the plastic from Makcik-in-pain's hand.

Being a very good samaritan,instead of asking Makcik Yellow-T what the hell happened to Makcik-in-pain, we decided to asked her :
"Makcik kenapa ni terung warna putih?"
Makcik Yellow-T answered :
"Memang begitu sebab terung tu orang kasi kawin mungkin" (Makcik Yellow-T explained that the brinjal is a hybrid one)

We laughed thinking what sort of plant had the original purple brinjal bred with to get the Albino Brinjal?
We laughed our way to our parked cars.
We didn't even turned our back to see whatever the hell happened to Makcik-in-pain.
Hopefully Makcik-in-pain is all healthy right now, and back to selling Albino brinjal and make other curious people like me and Kawang happy.

..to be continued...

Follow The White Rabbit..

2008-09-26T15:30:00.005+08:00

It's official.
I'll be celebrating raya here in Inanam.
Yeeeeehhhhhaaaa!

Received the e-mail from HQ last 2 days : due to the delay shipments of containers to Tawau Port, the set-up team for the new Tawau hypermarket will only be flying to Tawau on October 6, 2008.

I am suddenly in full-swing Hari Raya mood since 2 days ago.

But then, the day that I received the good news, later in the evening, I caught such terrible combo of cold and sore throat and lost my voice when I woke up in the morning!
The cold gone in the morning..
The sore throat, not so bad.
The ulcer on the tip of my tongue, pretty bad still but tolerable.
But the voice was gone almost entirely.

This is odd.
The symptoms are not consistent with the 'penyakit' (haha..memang suka self diagnosed)
I blamed the hot weather for this rather unusual illness.

But then again as me and my colleagues where talking (yes, although my voice was hardly there, I still wanted to talk) about baby formulas being contaminated with melamine, and some baby cereals and baby food had also been confiscated (for inspection purpose only, no worries, baby foods and formulas available at supermarket in Malaysia are so far safe from melamine). Which remind me of the news I heard on TV3 the day before about the 'White Rabbit Candy' that is also contaminated with melamine.

Which then remind me that just a few days ago, me and one of my friend from work, had just indulged ourselves with this infected candies!

Yaaaaaay!

Maybe I've lost my voice due to MELAMINE POISONING!
Damn you, China candy maker or milk collector or whoever it is responsible in contaminating the milk..you've caused me my precious, precious voice!

Then that friend of mine, the one whom I shared the White Rabbit with, and who's also present at that moment interrupted my drama queen mode by saying :
"Oi, kau tu makan dua biji sja, aku yang makan sampai 1/2 bungkus ni ndak apa-apa pun!"
Hehe..ok,ok so I only took like 2 pieces and she's the one who's actually 'indulging'

But, who knows, maybe she has stronger antibody, right?
We still can't waived off the 'White Rabbit' effect just yet.

Last night, with a slightly better, audible voice I went to OneBorneo with my sis and my cousins, then my friend Miss L called my hp and told me the news she heard on TV3 Buletin Utama just then. The news said the melamine contamination on the White Rabbit candy are SIX times higher than in the baby formulas!
Damn you White Rabbit!

We stopped at McD for Chocolate sundaes and chicken nuggets, fries and 1 large coke before we went home. My cousin joked that this was the best cure for sore throat.
My cousin's no witch doctor or whatsoever, but guess what, on the way back, while still in my sister's car with all the windows rolled down; I got my voice back!

Looked like McD Chocolate Sundae had just kick the White Rabbit ass.
And that makes me a one happy bunny! :)

Tag Hari Raya

2008-09-23T23:42:00.006+08:00

Tag hari raya ini memang sangat bersesuaian dengan keadaan saya yang kemungkinan besarnya tidak akan dapat merayakan hari raya bersama keluarga tahun ini...(ah! saya sangat sedeh!)

Berapa pasang baju raya anda taun ni dan kaler apekah?
1 pasang only..the kaler is grey dengan bunga2 warna ORANGE..I know, I know entah apalah yg merasuk aku di kala aku membeli kain itu DUA tahun yg lepas..ya, warnanya begitu menyayat hati..

Apakah makanan raya tradisional kegemaran anda?
Kelupis/ lamban dan apa2 jenis ketupat pulut dimakan bersama kuah kacang.. dan sayur lodeh yang kakakku masak with extra tempe..dan soto banjar yang kazenku dekat Telipok selalu masak time open house

Apakah biskut raya kegemaran anda?
Almond London yang kakakku every year tempah dr orang opisnya (aku pun sebenarnya ndk sure dr mana kakak aku beli tu almond london, tapi memang sedap gilak!)..kuih ulat bulu yang ngam cara buatannya (ndak semua sedap tau..)..shortbread yang ada grated cheese atasnya

Bape banyak duit raya anda dapat n spend untuk bagi kat bebudak?
Last year dapat dr kakakku, amount nya ndk payah lah dibagitau..hehe bikin malu sja tua2 masih dapat duit raya..bagi budak2 bajet RM100, anak2 buah and kazen2 yang aku favor dapat lebih lah, aku memang pilih kasih pun

Apakah aktiviti malam raya korang?
Selalunya tengok cerita melayu di tv..aku selalu jadi tukang pasang sarung kusyen ja malam raya

Ndak mau la tag sapa2, masih sedeh ni memikirkan kemungkinannya aku akan berada di Tawau pada pagi hari raya, kalau di rumah sedara mara ndak apa la jugak, ini dalam kadai bah! ah, tidak!

Oh, and talking about being sedeh, today I heard this unfortunate news of an old friend's loss . . Memang betul life must go on..tapi kita yang memandang ni senang la cakapkan, bahu yang memikul tu Tuhan saja yg tahu..Doa semoga my friend Izad sentiasa kuatkan semangat..Al-Fatihah untuk allayarham

Hello Stranger

2008-09-12T00:00:00.005+08:00

I find it quiet strange that people, and by people I mean strangers, people on the street, passersby etc..etc..often asked me for DIRECTION.

Do I not look lost too?

Do I look like I knew where's my every step taking me?

Everytime I was in KL there'd sure be people I bumped into and would ask me for direction. There were people at KL Sentral who asked me where to get a cab. At LRT station people asked me which train is going to where. At KLCC a group of kids once asked me how to actually get back to the LRT station.

Pretty same case while at work, often when there were customers who looked lost and finding a very hard time looking for something, and even if there were me and my friend Miss L standing by, chances are, they would go straight to me. Miss L liked to joke and said "kita tunggu tempat siapa dia pegi" , referring to the 'lost' customers and as expected, I'd be the one answering the common questions of "Dek, di mana plastik sampah?" / "Kak, di mana berus kain?" / "Miss, di mana jual cd kosong?"

Then, I remembered last time when we, the Department Heads, still doing the duty of opening/closing of the hypermarket entrance, there was this one old security guard who used to accompany us on the morning rounds. He was the oldest among the security guard, and people called him Uncle. I did my store opening duty on Thursday morning. Often this uncle would do the round with me and everytime, Uncle would have plenty to chat about. Even up to the point where it actually kinda BORED me.
So, I shared the story about Uncle with my friends, and guess what? they don't speak a word with Uncle! It surprised them when I said that Uncle is quite a chatterbox.

WHY?
WHY?
Do I always looked like I had my 'Available For Chat' mode on?
I don't think so. Because you know what, all the new bastards at work that I hate so much, they don't talk to me.
Or maybe my 'Available For Chat' mode is somehow selective.
It has bastards filters.
It can tell when a stranger says 'Hello'

I don't know how to end this crappy entry.
I don't even know what got me into writing this on the first place.

Just To Tell You That I'm Certained That I'll Be Having A Bad Day and I Already Had a Bad Morning To Begin With

2008-09-08T10:47:00.005+08:00

Today, is one of that day where you just knew that it's gonna suck the whole day through.

I woke up at 9.07am when I was supposed to be at work by 9.00am.
Instead of skipping work or buying myself an RM15 MC, I decided to later clock in at 1.00pm for afternoon shift (benci!benci!benci!)

Instead of going back to sleep, I decided to go online and update my blog, only to discover that my stupid pc was unable to start for like half an hour.
Tried to get it restore to its healthier state, ended up wasting another hour and nothing appear to change.

Once online, checked on Jobstreet (because job had been HELL this past couple of weeks!) and no surprise; there's no suitable jobs available in Sabah.
Damn. Why is it so hard to get jobs here in Sabah???

So, as I mentioned job had been HELL, yeah damn right job had been HELL.
I never hate this job as much as right now. I used to really enjoy this job I'm doing. I stick to it for over 2 years, that's like a world record in Ijam'sLand.

I hate my new store manager. I hate that now the suckhards at my workplace are sucking harder. I hate all the new people that the new store manager brought in :
the new Acting Head of Security - dog. The new InHouse Security - bigger dog. The reputable bitch from neighboring store who got transferred to our Grocery Dept - I'm no good at dealing with bitches, enough said. The new visual merchandising artist - slow like a sloth. The new Acting Head of Fresh Market - well, he's actually kinda cute haha..

But, again..apart from the new, reasonably cute guy in Fresh Market, my job SUCKS.
And I just know it's gonna suck more today.
I NEED A NEW JOB!

Welcoming Ramadhan and A Belated Merdeka Wish

2008-09-01T00:59:00.007+08:00

It's Puasa month already.
September already.
Yaaay..only 4 months left to 2009.

And like every, past puasa months I'd always wanted to be a 'better person'. I mean, it's the Penghulu of segala bulan and the best time to do all the amal ibadat..so, every year, as Ramadhan comes I tried to do these :

Cut on the swearing. Both in talking and writing.

Curb the angst. Try not to snap so quick, so often.

Keep the gossips to yourself. Mengumpat is bad, bad, bad regardless of what months (but gossiping is so damn fun! ah! I'm such a weak being..)

There're plenty of other things. Good things that don't need mentioning. Hey, I may not be that religious but I don't want to get burn to crisp in hell.

So, to everyone who's reading, Happy Fasting.
Have a blessed Ramadhan.

p.s : Happy belated Merdeka Day too. See how patriotic my drawing? :D

The Sudden Urge For Goreng Pisang

2008-08-26T22:10:00.007+08:00

Yesterday (or was it the day before yesterday?) while at work, me and me friend Miss L suddenly had mutual, simultaneous 'urge' for GORENG PISANG.
Yes, seemed like we're transmitting and receiving each other's brain wave to go 'curi tulang' for few minutes and go get some goreng pisang.

And so, along the way to the nearest goreng pisang place, we're kinda talking about the 'evolution' of goreng pisang here in Sabah.

We both remembered that last times, when we were kids, when we were at school, most goreng pisang were huge, with a fan-like shape, like this :

You hardly found any single-sliced goreng pisang like what available today.
The single-sliced 10 or 20 cents each goreng pisang used to be a West Malaysia style goreng pisang. Now it's so common here in KK.
The fan-shaped goreng pisang is the one facing extinction here.

Then I remembered back in secondary school, there's this friend of mine named Amy. We used to mock our big, with spreading toes, feet as 'Kaki Goreng Pisang'. See the uncanny resemblance? :D

Kaki Goreng Pisang, for a lady (especially a very ladylike lady), is almost like a curse.
It's really hard to find a nice ladies shoes for a Kaki Goreng Pisang. Normally a Kaki Goreng Pisang had to settle with what fits instead of what fancy or in-fashion.
Kaki Goreng Pisang is the sort of feet that would make Mr. Charles and Mr. Keith menangis air mata darah.

Hehe..thank God for sneakers.
And of course, for goreng pisang.

30 Years and 2 Days

2008-08-22T01:54:00.003+08:00

I am two days passed 30,today.
No different.
Same ol', same ol'..
But I did have the best birthday date this year :
2008/2008

My best friends from work, surprised me with yet, another birthday cake.
So all in all, I cut THREE birthday cakes this year.
Couple of my staffs made effort to hand-delivered my birthday presents to me together with a very carefully-crafted hand made birthday card.
I appreciate it all so, so much.
I had a very happy Wednesday that day.

Heck, I am old but I am happy (at least, at this very moment, I am)
And I am so in the mood to listen to this song :

Kimya Dawson is awesome. Like her music, like her lyrics and how can I not like the hair? :D

So, all together now, let sing!!

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I will find my nitch in your car
With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du

Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
But you

7 Wonders..I Wonder?

2008-08-18T01:01:00.004+08:00

Val Aziz tagged me into doing this.
I was tagged once by Missints. But at that moment I didn't even get how this 'tag' thing actually works.
I think I get the idea now.
So here are the SEVEN wonderful facts of IjamShadan :

1. I am patriotic. Not to the extent of mengibarkan Jalur Gemilang on my car or anything, but I did got bloody 'terharu' when Chong Wei made it to the Olympic Final and when he did lose, hell ya I was pissed! but none of my swear words went to him because as I said, I am so bloody patriotic especially when it comes to sports and Malaysians being recognized and successful. Remember there was this one TV ad for MILO like a few years ago, where the song went.. :

"Cintaku pada ibu pertiwi,
Bak mentari menerangi bumi..."

I cried the first time I watched that ad. And I still got goosebumps everytime I watched it. See, that's how patriotic I am.

2. I got 'Sex And The City' theme ringtone as my SMS alert tone. But truth be told, I've never even watched a single episode of 'Sex And The City'. I also skipped the movie.

3. I can passably play a guitar but I don't know what's the name to most of the chords that I play. I only know what fingers to be put on which strings. A lot like Phoebe Buffay. But maybe a bit better.

4. Being at the front row of INCUBUS hard-rocking concert was the highest point of my life so far.

5. I have a great, great fascination for cheese.

6. When I was in primary school I secretly had this ambition of becoming a CARPENTER. Not a member of that singing group 'The Carpenters' but literally; a carpenter. In discreet I dream of making furniture and building beautiful things out of wood. Now, at present time, the latest addition to the departments that I'm in-charge of at my workplace is the Knocked-Down Furniture(KDF) Department. Which means, from time to time I do have to assemble furniture!

The moral of the story : be careful what you wish, cause you might just get it.

7. When I was in college, I had a "Beavis and Butthead" t-shirt where Beavis and Butthead are farting at each other. I luuuuurrrrrvve that t-shirt. But after college, I don't know where on earth had the t-shirt gone??! Now, at present time, now that Beavis and Butthead are not that famous, I think, I still can't let go of the thoughts on that t-shirt. Ah! I love that t-shirt so much. I want my 'Beavis and Butthead' t-shirt back! *if you don't have the slightest idea on who on earth is Beavis and Butthead, check out this site here , where I get this pic from

So now I'm tagging MissInts,Yenney,AidaAmir and IjahAmran

The Weekend Party Rewind

2008-08-12T23:30:00.019+08:00

My weekend was great.
My party went oh-so-well.
A bit chaotic (I tend to get disoriented when I am super-excited) but still we're having a blast!
Sukses! Sukses!
*the gorgeous girlfriends me sharing the birthday month with

Everyone was wearing white, as planned.
Everyone was not on time, as expected :D

I can say that I don't have lots of friends. I mean friends that are close, really-really close. Friends that are just a phone call away. Friends who also decide to keep you as friends. I mean, when it comes to friendship I am more of a keeper instead of a collector. Whatever friends I have, I keep. So I don't have a lot, but what I do have, I keep them close. Like these friends here :

17 friends showed up. That's good, eh? Let's just put some more picture to tell how the party went :

*the earliest to arrive
*Extra point for the blazer!macam suit P.Ramlee hehe..
*Gambar sebelum makan
*Karaoke session
*More karaoke..
*More, more karaoke..
*More and more and more karaoke..
*Hips Don't Lie Versi Brunei+Irranun haha..
*Me with the girls from work
*The future generation..nanti geng clubbing sama2, jaga la kamurang haha..
*So happy that everyone was happy..

The party started at 9.30pm (supposed to be at 9!) and ended at 1.00 am. The karaoke DJ had to force us to stopped singing. Cess..time flies when you're having fun.
Hopefully I'll find another reason to throw a party/gathering/whatever you may called it next year. No, not for birthday. I tell myself that I will no longer celebrates my birthday, beginning next year (haha..yeah right!) But who knows, some more my bestfriend Miss A told me "30 is the new 20" (just another excuse to be a tua kutuk ndak sedar diri hehe..) but anyhow, I'll sure find another thing to celebrate. And for now lets just enjoy the remaining 8 days of being 29.

So, the party ended and this is my favorite birthday present..tadaaa..!

4 discs of 60 songs composed and sung by the legendary P.Ramlee!
I LIKE!
Yes, I'm a sucker for P.Ramlee movies. Yes, I memorized the words to almost all of the 60 songs in the CDs.
This cd will fit perfectly well next to my Incubus and Damien Rice's cd haha..

Thanks friends for the great party, and presents, and a stress-free weekends.
We'll be back to work tomorrow. This weekend makes me crave for more and more weekends.
So I think, I need a new job, with weekends.
I like weekends. Weekends make me happy.

Must..find..job..with..weekends..
Must..must..must..

'Tenda' For Sale

2008-08-05T23:49:00.004+08:00

While at work, last few days, I was approached by this one customer.
He looked like a tabligh.
Okay, so maybe he's not, but he sure dressed like one.
If you don't know what's a 'tabligh', me too is uncertain about the exact translation (ah! so jahil la aku..bikin malu saja)
But let just say they're religious people.
Think ustaz. Think jubah and serban and sometimes eyeliner.

*artist representation only

So, this 'tabligh' fella asked me:
"Apa di sini ada jual tenda?"
Uinah! He speaks Indonesian.
I was :
1) Struck by the fact that he's (or probably be) Indonesian
2) Tickled by that word 'tenda'. I don't know why, at that time I thought it sounds damn funny.

So, I asked the obvious :
"Tenda?"
He replied:
"Iya"
I said :
"Yang tenda putih, yang besar, yang selalu orang kawin pakai tu tiada stok. Tenda yang kecil, yang kaler biru tu ada lah"
He said :
"Mau tenda yang kecil saja"

Haha..again, I found it funny that this guy was actually looking for "Tenda Biru"
("...tanpa undangan, diriku kau lupakan..." *jgn tambirang la kamurang tia tau ni lagu!)

I showed him the aisle where the 'tenda biru' is on display.
But then he looked back at me with the this-is-not-what-I'm-asking-for look.
He explained :
"Bukan..saya mau tenda kecil yang di dalamnya bisa tidur"

Haiyoh! he was actually looking for a tent, a camping tent.
And I thought 'tenda' was only meant for that canopy you put up on wedding days.
Isn't it?? or does 'tenda' in Indonesian really mean any sorts of tent or camp or canopy? who knows, that guy might not be Indonesian at all and he just thought of that word 'tenda' right before he asked me, right?(in denial, sebab sudah malu hihi..)

Damn that song "Tenda Biru"
So misleading.

Clueless

2008-08-03T03:00:00.004+08:00

Late dinner again, last night,
at my fren, Miss P's house-warming 'kenduri'

Going to a wedding tomorrow.
My ex-staff Miss N getting married tomorrow.

We, by 'we' I mean me plus another 10 of Miss N ex-colleuge shared to buy her a brand new oven.

Me plus 2 of my bff were thinking of getting Miss P a very trendy, very tall corner lamp for her house

My friend Miss P and my ex-staff Miss N never met.
They have know clue of each other's existence.

Miss P doesn't have a clue that Miss N is getting married tomorrow(in fact, it's actually today!)
Miss N doesn't have a clue that Miss P has just moved into a new house, her own house.

Even if they both do have a clue on the recent goings of each other's life, they wouldn't even bothered to care.

Like right now,I don't have a fuckin clue on why am I typing all these stupid words at three in the morning instead of going to sleep.

Ah, crap.

The Power of Orange Knickers

2008-07-31T01:44:00.004+08:00

Seriously. I don't get this song.
I mean, I don't get the lyrics.
What's with the orange knickers?
Where can I get that orange knickers?
Does 'knickers' mean what 'knickers' should meant?

But still, every time, as Tori Amos and Damien Rice were chanting the lyrics, I dumbly followed...

"The Power of Orange Knickers.. The Power of Orange Knickers.. The power of Orange Knickers.. Under My petticoat.. The power of Listening to What.. You don't Want Me to Know.."

So girls, go get your pair of orange knickers now.
Then we'll know if the orange knickers really served justice to this song or not
Hahaha...

"Something Good Will Be Comin' Our Way, And Maybe These Good Things Gonna Happen in August.."

2008-07-28T01:13:00.008+08:00

Just a few days away to August.

Tralala..lalalala..tralala..lalalala

I am happy about the coming birthday.
Definitely not that happy about getting older.
But still..

Tralala..lalalala..tralala..lalalala

Am now planning a 'combined' birthday bash with 2 of my girlfriends who're also born in August. Also gonna turn 30 in August.
We grew up together. This year we'll like to celebrate getting old together.

Tralala..lalalala..tralala..lalalala

I like planning all these parties and so-called get together.
Not so good at it, but still, like doing it so much.
I like to see people that I know, people that I care about gather together, laughing, catching up, making noises, just being happy..without getting drunk or engaging in the usage of any illegal substance, organic or vice versa.

* Last year's pic, August 1st, Miss A's birthday..bah kenapalah kalau kami mau celebrate 29th birthday di Pizza Hut??

Tralala..lalalala..tralala..lalalala

So looking forward to August 9th.
That's when the party supposed to happen. InsyAllah, kalau tiada apa-apa yg melintang..
So excited. So, so excited.

Tralala..lalalala..tralala..lalalala